


Beats on Fire like the Holy Ghost

by ShikiMagica



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Patron Troll Swap, For Want of a Nail, Gen, I'll tag more characters as I go, I'm writing the fic I want to read and it is a wonderful experience let me tell you, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, let me know if I need more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-05-26 15:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15003929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShikiMagica/pseuds/ShikiMagica
Summary: Dave wakes up in a pile of garbage a few days before he's supposed to play Sburb. He'll figure things out somehow. Temporal inevitability, yo.





	1. STUPID PIECE OF GARBAGE QUEST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! First Homestuck fic. Welcome to the teacup ride. Here's a cover I drew for the fic!  
> 

_Take it back, take it back, my friend_  
_All the things that you said about the end  
This is it, this is me telling you it ain't over ‘til it's over_

* * *

  **== >Dave: Stink.**

Your name is Dave Strider and your life smells like hot garbage.

You’ve woken up buried not in plush smuppets but in literal trash. Someone's finally taken you out to the dumpster where you belong. Yeah. Bro is gonna kick your ass for sleeping through this. You've got to get back and take a shower.

You claw your way up through plastic and spoiled food— _God_ it smells like something died—and sit on the top of the pile. It's not a dumpster. It's an entire smelly landfill. Survival training then, you guess. Find your way home, scrounge something to eat. Is this your punishment for losing that last strife? It probably is. You remember tumbling down the stairs like a dumbass. Guess that wasn't enough, why would it be. Ugh, and you had been planning to play that game with John and Rose and Jade in like, a week or so. If you don't get back soon you'll probably miss when it comes in the mail, whatever day that is. Who even knows how long you've been out? Whatever, you'll just let your friends know you might be late. You'd been waffling about playing with them anyways, if you don't show up it won't be that big a surprise.

You start walking.

Surprisingly, nothing really hurts. Your strife wounds have stopped throbbing and your skull isn't filled with persistent dizzying pain like it usually is after a trip down the stairs. That's bad, that means you've been out here for longer than you thought. Long enough to heal up. You are definitely going to need a cool excuse for your friends. Can't say “sorry dudes i was chilling in a landfill like a piece of garbage” without looking like an actual uncool piece of trash. You could probably make a SBaHJ comic about this, though. Tell them you were busy working on your new masterpiece (your garbage masterpiece, which is about garbage and is also garbage itself. It's even made by a garbage person. Like that part of the Constitution, for the people, by the people… of the people? You don't actually remember how the Constitution goes).

You manage to avoid people on the way back to your neighborhood. Why did Bro have to take you out this far? You get it, you really do, but why is the city so _big_? It's just unnecessary is what it is. Houston needs to shrink. Get all subdivided like a bar of your sweet jams. Remix Houston, put your apartment all up next to the landfill, smell that sweet garbage stench like smuppet fabric in the morning. Anything not to have to walk this far again. The people you do pass make weird uncomfortable faces as you flashstep around them, but otherwise they ignore your presence like good Houstonians. They probably just got a snoutful of Strider scent.

You do check yourself over, though. There's kind of a gross amount of blood on your shirt. You try harder to avoid people after that.

 

**== >Dave: Search your apartment.**

Your apartment is empty. It's as empty as a plastic bottle, all licked clean and shiny and hoarded in the closet even though it doesn't even taste like AJ anymore because you're just that hungry and you've been out of snacks for a couple days and the best you can do is lick a dry bottle until it tastes like spit. That's how empty this place is. It's not just people-empty, it's stuff-empty. I've-never-seen-that-corner-before empty. All your Bro’s stuff is gone. No swords in the fridge. Not even a smuppet tucked into a cranny.

You flashstep to your room. You're totally not panicking, because Bro would never throw your stuff out over a strife. He paid good money for all that, you're pretty sure. He gave you stuff ironically, but it was pretty sweet stuff when it came down to it. Bro was a quality guy. Irony came from using top-tier equipment to make obnoxious trash, not using low-quality pieces and making the best of it. And he never wanted you to be a waste of his investments, so that totally has to mean your stuff is safe from whatever’s going on here. If he was all serious about you wasting stuff he got you, there's no way he'd damage it himself.

You really hope that's true. That stuff in your room is all that you've got.

It's empty. He took your turntables, your computer, he even took your bed. Your ironically ugly desk is gone, your closet is empty. The room even has an empty-room smell. What did you even do to make him take your stuff? Bro has got to be testing you somehow. He's never taken everything away before, even though he owns it and he could if he wanted to. You know that. This isn't a thing he can't do. It's just getting to you, being alone in your room without your computer ( _can't contact your friends_ ) or your collections ( _maybe you liked them too sincerely_ ) or your stash of food ( _you're going to starve_ ). You'll be fine. You'll be fine, you just need to figure out what he wants from you. And maybe find a way to contact someone before you _absolutely don't panic because you are a Strider._

 

**== >Dave: Chill in the stairwell.**

You can't stand it in your empty room. Stumbling out into the smuppetless living room makes you feel like you're on the set of a weirdly mundane horror movie, so you can't stay there either. What a movie that would be, huh. _A House Without Puppets._ Children the world over will be traumatized just by the tagline. _“You turned your back on those plushy bodies.”_ The trailer’s just a shaky-cam walkthrough of this apartment. All the jumpscares are you checking increasingly improbable hiding places and finding nothing and nobody in them. Yeah, enough of that. You retreat to the stairwell.

This place hasn't changed. It's probably the only spot in your house you’re going to be able to deal with for at least… give it a half hour. At least in here it smells familiar, the bleachy stairwell-smell you've known forever. Similar to the roof after a strife, but stronger since the stairwell is an enclosed space. It's actually pretty strong today. You guess Bro can't have been gone that long if the stairwell still smells like ironic cleaning supplies. Maybe he got tired of waiting for you to find your way home. Or maybe he’s just stepped out to replace all of the furniture at once and figured you'd be fine on your own for a while. Which you will be. All you have to do is figure out something to eat whenever you finally get hungry and find a place to sleep. And a change of clothes. God, you want a shower. You can't go out to get food like this, even if you had money, which your cleared room makes obvious you don't. Even if you'd had more than vending machine change saved up, it's definitely all gone now. You miss your food stash more than that, though. Food is tangible, you can hold it and see it nestled in your closet, ready to be there for you when you need it. Quarters and dimes are just different. People can take your change, or you can lose it, or it can get stuffed into puppet orifices for “safekeeping” (even if the only person it's safe from in there is you). Better to convert it into food as fast as possible and store that. When Bro gets back, you're going to have to build up your stash again as soon as you can.

That's if. Uh. If he hasn't tired of you for good. Which maybe he has, because he's just such a cool guy he's got better things to do than train you twenty-four/seven/three-sixty-five-and-a-quarter. He's always had better things to do with his mad skills than raise a kid, but maybe he's actually dropped you this time? You sure hope not, because there aren't even any clothes in your closet. You have no idea how to actually live without everything Bro provides for you. He's your awesome Bro, you need him now more than ever. If this training was supposed to make you grateful for everything he's done for you, it's definitely done that. And make you paranoid as hell about what's going to happen next. You hunker down in the stairwell and hope with all your inadequately ironic soul that he'll come back for you soon.

 

**== >Dave: Be alone.**

Bro hasn't shown his shades for probably an entire day since you got back. You've stayed in the stairwell the whole time, not really motivated to move. You really should, logic says you'll damage your brain if you breathe that bleach smell for too long, but the thought of waiting for him on the roof or in those surgically empty rooms is worse than the prospect of staying here in a small space with walls at your back. Right in the corner, right where you can see if someone enters from downstairs, the limit of where you'd usually land if you got pushed or kicked down here during a strife, the furthest you ever got from Bro while either of you had a sword in hand. You huddle there for a while, knees to your chest in the safest spot you can be; can't get knocked down if you're already here. A lot of strifes have ended here, actually. You’ve probably passed out like an idiot in this corner half a dozen times, waking up in your room with a killer headache and maybe some new gear if you'd done better than awful. Bro is all about motivation, brilliant trainer that he is, and he’s an expert at using the two most powerful kinds: ass-kickings and rewards. Or something like that. You're growing up to be awesome, tough and strong like Bro. You're honestly not sure how you ended up with such a great guardian, but you sure are grateful to whatever force sent you down to this planet that this is where you ended up. If you didn't have Bro, you'd probably be left in the depths of weakness and dweebishness, or whatever the opposite of totally rad dudes is. Maybe he doesn't like you all that much, but he's always done his best to prepare you for life. And face it, if you were Bro, you wouldn't like you either. Dave-you, not Bro-you. Pretty sure Bro likes himself. He deserves that. But you’re kind of a drain on the whole cool-guy lifestyle. You're doing your best but you know you haven't caught up to Bro yet.

Ugh, you've been philosophizing in a dark stairwell for way too long. If you'd been talking to one of your friends, they'd have stopped your endless ramble by now. Not that you'd be talking to them about losing strifes and the way the stairs smell. Friends are for talking about fun stuff and showing off your sweet musical skills, social things. You'd feel like a loser if you whined about your scrapes while John told you about his latest movie obsession or Jade told you about her dreams. Rose has enough going on with her mom, and John strifes his dad pretty frequently. You've got it positively good here.

Or at least you did. While Bro was still lurking and hadn't absconded for who knows where and who knows how long. If he doesn't come back, you're screwed forever. You'd be almost happy to strife again, right this minute, if you'd wake up in your room with all your stuff back where it belongs and feeling the familiar kind of not-safe. The kind you're ready for, not this terrible movie apocalypse type of scenario. Bro and all of his puppets abducted by aliens. Those guys with _The End Is Nigh_ sandwich boards. You'd take laser-focused listening for the scratch of a shoe over straining your ears against silence that just might stretch out forever. You really don't know how long it's been. Too long, at least a little excessive time, that's what it feels like. You don't know how to be independent when that means something outside of _maintain your food stash/do your laundry/keep out of Bro’s way._ Do you leave? Wander the city until he finds you? Whatever test this was, you failed, you've been failing it since you started. You don't know how to play this game and you don't know what day it is and you’re really alone, you're actually literally alone with no idea when or even if Bro will show up again. You're alone and you don't have a way to contact your friends for advice. For help. You can't contact your friends for help.

You're alone.

You're alone.

You're alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's song is [It's Over When It's Over](https://youtu.be/XMYQ7jjMa6k) by Falling in Reverse. I hope we all have fun! :D


	2. probably some weird gauntlet

_You sent me away to a terrible place_  
_Perhaps it's where I belong_  
_I can't even lie, it's no big surprise_  
_That you don't even want me there_  
_How can I make you, make you proud of me?_

* * *

**== >Dave: Get moving.**

You can't sit in the stairwell forever. Even if you've lost track of the days and hours, even if you still don't know where Bro is, you have to start moving around, you have to start looking. Think logically, Bro taking everything out of the apartment means… moving. Bro has probably moved to a better apartment somewhere else and left you behind. He either wants you to figure out where he is on your own and come find him, in which case he probably would have left you a note, or he's grown tired of you and is taking this opportunity to abscond out of your life. Which means leaving you at the landfill probably bought him time to get out of dodge while you were still wandering around the city finding this apartment. Maybe you shouldn't have lost that last strife. Maybe that was your final test of Strider worthiness and you failed it spectacularly, cascading gracelessly down the stairs and giving yourself the rabbit punch of the century at the bottom.

And if that's true, maybe you shouldn't look for Bro. Maybe he's finally gone on to do what he's meant to do like go be a hero, someplace else that isn't here. Maybe the empty apartment is him leaving you with exactly what you contributed to your life with him. Not a single smuppety thing.

He always did prepare you for life on your own. You know how to strife, how to take care of injuries, and how to clean up a blood trail. You can dodge traps like an action hero and hide your reactions under pressure like the manliest man. All the skills you need, right there. You don't know how to buy your own Doritos, but you can figure that one out. You can just live here for a while until you figure out what to do next. Plenty of people do that. You can find a computer or a phone somewhere in the area and contact your friends. Libraries have those, right? Computers? You probably need a library card to get into the library, though. Seems like what the cards would be for. And you might not be old enough to get one on your own. Do they need a driver's license? Maybe you'll have to ask someone who has one. Rose probably has a library card. Or maybe not, her mom probably buys her whatever she wants to read. John then. You'll ask John how to get a library card, so you can access their computers, so you can contact… John. Dammit.

 

**== >John: Don't hear from Dave.**

Your name is John Egbert, and you haven't heard from your friend in a while. It's not the first time he's done this. He sometimes goes off on some kind of coolness pilgrimage and you don't hear from him until he gets back, which is fine because you're a secure friend who knows that he's still your buddy even if you don't get responses from him sometimes! You’ve worried about him a few times in the past, though. The first time that he logged off because his Bro was coming, you didn't hear from him for two days and it got a few weird and thankfully wrong ideas going in your brain! Like, what if he got grounded and couldn't use his computer? Maybe his Bro didn't think you were a good friend for Dave and would set him straight on appropriate friend-coolness levels or something. You’ve never met the guy, but it sounds like something he might do. According to Dave, his Bro is the pinnacle of cool, like the top of Mount Everest. But you shouldn't have worried. It turned out Dave was just learning how to duel with swords like the coolest of dudes. He has all sorts of skills like that. And another time Bro suddenly took Dave camping like a movie training montage, and he didn't have a connection for a while. Or didn't have his computer, or both. You forgot to get the details straight on that, and Dave can talk circles around other circles like some weird summoning symbol of ironic nonsense. It kind of hurts your brain sometimes. But you still listen to him because he's your best bro and best bros listen to each other. He's kind of your only bro, but that's just another reason why he's the best!

Anyway, you haven't heard from Dave in a few days, and you're probably not going to find out why until he gets back. You really hope he gets back before the SBURB game launch, because you’re still planning to play it together. It would be sad if he missed out just because his Bro did something with him on impulse. According to the website it looks like you can only set up your multiplayer team in the very beginning, and you're stuck with what you picked until the end of the game. So if Dave isn't here to start with you, he’ll miss the whole thing. You hope he'll contact you soon.

 

**== >Dave: Consider looking presentable.**

A shaft of light widens into existence below you, and you see a middle-aged woman you guess is your downstairs neighbor.

Her hair is dyed too vibrantly red over her thin skin. You can see through the cloud of permed curls to her scalp. She doesn't notice you as she shuffles to the apartment below your spot, though she makes a face and squints around. Probably the bleach smell. It's started to subside in the time you've been here but if you weren't so used to it you'd probably make that face too.

You could ask her if you could use her computer. That could work. But then she might ask why you need it, why you’re not able to use one at home. And you're not in a shape to be seen right now. Maybe the first thing you should do is find some clothes to replace the ones you have on. Your shirt is still tacky with dried blood. There's a hole slashed straight through the design on the front, where you didn't leap backward fast enough. The edges of the slash are neat enough you could probably stitch the shirt back together if you wanted. If it hadn't been ruined by the amount of blood staining it. As it is fixing your shirt would just make it look like a horror costume that you're trying too hard for. It's going in the garbage. Or at least the rag pile where it can soak up the next thing that gets spilled around here. Hopefully not more blood, that would just be overkill. And you'd need bleach for that, the way the roof gets slopped down after a tough strife. Rags wouldn't really help. You can't bleach this shirt anyways, it's got red sleeves that will just turn a weird orange color if they come in contact with bleach.

… You zoned out and missed the part where your downstairs neighbor went inside and shut her door. Missed opportunity for whatever it was you were thinking to do. She'll probably come out again eventually. Maybe by then you'll have figured out a clean-up situation and you’ll be presentable in case you want to ask her anything. Before then, you need to rest so you can think clearly. You squish your back against the wall in your corner and let your brain drift again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's lyrics are from [Left 4 Dead](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4VFlk4K2kQ) by Papercut Massacre. Thank you [theknightofdoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theknightofdoom) for beta reading!


	3. rad stealth stunts

_Wrath inside, mummified, in my vault_  
_Offer just to keep what’s left of my heart and soul—I know it’s my fault_  
_I gotta set it free, pick that lock_  
_‘Cause I can’t, I can’t remember who I am_

* * *

**== >Dave: Break in.**

Come morning, you’ve made your decision: you have to get into someone’s apartment. You can’t manage anything else that you need to do if you don’t have clean clothes. If you went to the library like this, you’d probably frighten children, horrify adults—yeah, you know how this looks, you’re not stupid, they’d probably call the police on you or something else completely lame. You don’t need any of that kind of attention. You got your scars fair and square in strifes and training, so consider yourself not interested on the 9-1-1 front. So. Clean clothes, then computer access. You’re not a hundred percent sure you’re up for skirting the feds, so you’ve got to make your move and be decisive about it. No cops get called if you’re fast enough not to be seen. Hopefully. Come on, what has Bro been training you for if not to be able to take care of yourself when you need it most? The woman downstairs is dragging out her garbage bags, propping the door open with the recycling bin. If you can flashstep over those things while her back is turned, you’ll be inside the apartment. You know how they lock from the inside, since you’ve locked yourself out before. You don’t know whether she’ll have anything you need, though. And you don’t know when she’ll be back. Maybe it would be better to try scouting out for another apartment that has a teenager… then again, that means coming down from your stairwell perch and risking being seen by people on lower floors. It’s probably not a smart move to consider this your safe base; it’s not even been a safe place for you historically or whatever, but here you are, stairwell goblin. Bat in the belfry. Tower gargoyle. The idea that no one comes up here is just comforting, okay? No one besides Bro and you. Bro is an okay adult because you get him and he gets you. He’s cool, you’re cool. You get how the two of you work together. You’re pretty sure you’ve never talked to another adult, though. And it’s not like you “talked” a lot to Bro, either. Of course, you get how talking to adults would work, theoretically, from TV. Duh. And obviously you do physically know how to talk, you’re not like, however old kids are when they start talking. Five? Seven? When did you even learn to talk? Do people remember stuff like that? You remember learning to read. That was a whole production and frankly, the most attention you got in your childhood besides training. But you know. A guy’s got to be able to leave written challenges, and that means his little bro has to be able to read ‘em. First thing you learned how to spell was “Bro.” Yeah, you were a cool little dude. Still are. You’ve learned way better words since then, since you’ve obviously got to include them in your sicknasty rhymes. Helps to listen to rappers laying them down while you skim the lyrics page. Copy down the words you don’t know first, web dictionary after. You’re educated on this Language Arts business. Bro’s real big on the self-sufficiency thing. You’re pretty sure he taught himself to read since he’s just that radical.

Hey, if you keep going on like this, you’re going to miss your chance to get a clean T-shirt. Your neighbor has her purse with her and actual shoes on, so she’s probably really leaving. Maybe for the whole day, if you’re lucky. You’re planning to be fast, anyway, so it will be fine. You ready the best flashstep you’ve done to date, and as she pulls away from the door, you zip down the steps and get right in there behind her. She stiffens up like she’s noticed, but you dump yourself out of sight behind her sofa before she can catch on. Probably felt the breeze. Dammit. Bro would have done this right. You really didn’t plan far enough for this. She’s going to come in and see you and probably scream and call the cops and you don’t have a weapon for defense even though you probably couldn’t use a weapon against the police because that would be a sure way to get yourself shot to death probably but you’re already going to get arrested for breaking into someone’s apartment and your shirt is covered in blood and people are going to see because _she’s_ going to see and this was probably the stupidest idea you’ve ever actually gone through with in your life...

By some miracle she doesn’t come in after you and see you trying to flatten yourself into her carpet. There’s a medium-length pause—three beats, four, five—before you hear the door shut and the sounds of metal and glass scraping against each other in the garbage bags she’s dragging further away.

Okay, she’s gone. Time to hurry up and get what you came for… Wait, there’s a computer in here, with one of those little rainbow screensavers bouncing slowly around the screen. Siiick, this lady uses a desktop with a tower and a big cubey-looking monitor. That probably means she’s one of those people who doesn’t know how to set a password. And if she’s gone long enough, you could totally borrow it for a little while…

This computer sucks, actually. She’s got a corded mouse that feels like it weighs ten pounds for all the effort it takes to roll it around, and all her keys stick on the inside like they’ve been caressed by grime-covered toddlers who are about to get the shades smacked off of them for touching video camera lenses with their sticky toddler fingers. Every keystroke is like playing whack-a-mole without a hammer, where you just have to try to cram that feller back in the hole with your bare hands and hope he stays down because boy is he fighting to claw his way out of the dark dimension under the whack-a-mole thing. Not that you’ve actually played whack-a-mole. You just know it’s about whacking off little mole guys with a hammer before they can get out of the whacking machine. So yeah, these keys are tough customers. Lady must have fingers of steel if she uses this computer for anything other than playing pinball.

You open a private window and navigate to the Pesterchum website. You really can’t expect an old lady to have Pesterchum installed on her computer.

TG: john  
TG: hey john  
TG: john are you there  
EB: dave?  
EB: wow you were gone a long time!  
TG: about that  
TG: what day is it

Wait, no, you could have just looked at the little calendar widget to see that. Time to play that one off too. You tend to do that with John. You’d like to think you’re pretty honest with John as a rule, but when it comes to things that make you look like a chump… you’re a little more prone to spinning things if you have to. Like that time you tried to break your fall with your arms and broke both your wrists in the most beginner mistake you could possibly have made. You weren’t able to contact any of your friends until your wrists healed enough to type, and they all bugged you about it until you were so embarrassed you really did need a cover story. You spun a slightly edited version of the incident that kind of lasted a couple weeks and involved a training montage, because the training montage thing definitely did happen, it was just within your house and involved mostly flashstep practice and dodging a lot since you can't wield a sword with splinted wrists. Or at least you shouldn’t. Maybe someone could if they really tried hard enough. Bro probably could have. He’d never break his wrists and have to try, though. He’s too cool for that.

EB: uhh… the 11th?  
EB: why do you not know what day it is?  
TG: thats where youre wrong  
TG: its the day i blow your mind  
TG: all up in this business chasing time  
TG: dont gotta be afraid cause im here for the ride  
TG: from the end to the start you and me side by side  
TG: tighter than cage and that nasty old bunny  
TG: our broship aint leaving for love or for money  
TG: im gonna be here for your big one three  
TG: load it up press start up down a b  
TG: which is to say im gonna play the game with you on your birthday  
EB: that's awesome dave!  
EB: i knew you'd see it my way eventually :B

Yeah, that’s more like it. You’ve maybe now made a promise you’re not sure you can keep, but John’s happy and that makes you happy. You’ll figure out a way to make it happen. You kind of owe everybody after going off the grid for so long. It’s the 11th, seriously? That means you’re missing almost a week from your memory. That’s pretty pathetic, honestly. You’re not that surprised Bro went to do whatever it is he’s doing now. You’d leave yourself if whatever you were waiting for took that long.

EB: what were you doing this time?  
TG: a dudely quest  
TG: just like  
TG: dropping my beats all over houston kind of quest  
TG: flashstepping all unseen like an assassin  
TG: wait the one that raps is the bard isnt it  
TG: the medieval guy that lays down the sick wisdom  
TG: only for the king to be like yeah i thought of this myself no thanks to that guy and his delirious beats  
TG: and hes just got to be like yeah that you did sir king your highness  
TG: cause hes gotta be a chill bro cause thats the king and he can be like off with his head  
TG: and the bard is like dude no i use my head for those sweet rhythms like dont touch the head  
TG: and the king is like too late bro your head is toast  
TG: but like why do people even say that something is toast  
TG: who decided that toast was the thing that doomed things were like  
EB: it's cause toast is a gross ruination of perfectly good bread :B  
TG: egbert youre a genius

You figure you’d better be quick messaging Rose and Jade, too, or at least drop them a line telling them you’re fine. You’d really rather get to talk to them at length, though, so you hope they’re online.

TG: hey rose  
TG: im back  
TG: also i told john im going to play the game for his birthday so thats a thing thats going to be happening  
TT: Hello, Dave.  
TT: Back from the depths, I see.  
TG: yep  
TG: i know you missed my sweet red text  
TG: pining for the day id be back to grace your eardrums with my sage words of wisdom  
TG: your eyedrums  
TG: eyes  
TT: Is something wrong, Dave?  
TT: You're not rambling at a greater length than usual, but something still seems off.  
TG: what no  
TG: everythings fine over here  
TG: i actually came to message you to tell you that im ok  
TT: Is there a reason you needed to tell me that?  
TT: Might it be the same reason we couldn't reach you for a week?  
TG: youre mad arent you  
TT: I can't imagine what would give you that idea.  
TT: Clearly trying to contact a friend only to be greeted with ominous silence is the way I prefer to spend my time.  
TT: You wouldn't be hiding anything from us, would you?

Nope, nope, damage control. Small concessions, let her think she pried it out of you even though you really do want to get her opinion on what’s going on. Leave out the parts you don’t want her to analyze too closely. You love Rose, you really do, she can just be… intense sometimes. Intense in the exact opposite way from Bro, where she’s all trying to dig under your exoskeleton like you’re a bug filled with juicy emotions and stuff. Bro’s intensity builds you up and hers tears you down. Your shields or whatever, that is.

TT: Dave?  
TG: you got me rose  
TG: bros been gone for a couple days  
TG: im not worried  
TG: hes the best he can take care of himself  
TG: its just been  
TG: a little weird  
TT: I see.  
TT: And from this I'm supposed to infer that you're fine.  
TT: Does your Bro often leave you to fend for yourself?  
TG: no thats the thing  
TG: hes a solid rock of broly guardianship or whatever  
TG: but theres a first time for everything i guess  
TG: so im just here spinning my wheels waiting for him to get back  
TT: The ways of guardians are inscrutable.  
TT: But that is troubling.  
TT: And if that's the case...  
TT: Why didn't you contact us sooner?  
TT: Your Bro being gone doesn't prevent you from answering your friends.

Actually, you should have known you couldn’t outmaneuver Rose. Time to come mostly clean.

TG: uh  
TG: just dont make a big deal out of this  
TG: i think the last day i remember was the third  
TG: kinda woke up with amnesia or something  
TT: You woke up with amnesia and your Bro hasn't been home?  
TT: Do you need to call an ambulance? Or the police?  
TG: no see im fine is the thing  
TG: everythings been fine except that hes not here and like  
TG: idk  
TG: im ok with it rose  
TG: hell be back tomorrow probably  
TG: then we can all laugh about it or whatever you therapy people like to do after you strip someones brain  
TT: ...  
TG: not like that  
TG: like  
TG: the thing you do where you get all elbow deep in the subconscious  
TG: twitchy psychologist fingers rooting around in there  
TG: ...  
TT: ...  
TT: Dave?  
TG: godammit rose

Okay, Rose is maybe not the best person to be talking to right now if you don’t want to start freaking out about your situation. She’s going to make you do things like “think about how you feel” and “deal with your problems,” both of which are useless in this particular situation, and also in most other situations. What you need right now is a pick-me-up. Good old fashioned friend chat with no serious stuff in it whatsoever. Time to talk to Jade.

She’s actually already messaged you. Guess she noticed you were online.

GG: dave!! hi!! :D  
TG: hey harley  
TG: hows it hanging  
TG: are you asleep or awake this time  
GG: pretty sure i'm awake!  
GG: i’m glad you're back  
GG: i had a weird dream while you were gone  
GG: but now that you're here everything's okay again!  
TG: yeah im doing fine  
TG: you wanna tell me about the dream or no  
GG: just weird stuff :/  
GG: since you're here it's not really important anymore  
GG: you're going to play the game with us, right?  
TG: yep  
TG: that has not stopped being a thing  
TG: or i guess  
TG: it has started being a thing now  
TG: i dont remember whether i was in or out the last time we talked  
TG: but im in for good now  
TG: promised john im playing so now i gotta  
TG: find like a laptop or something  
TG: having some technical difficulties over here  
GG: you'll find a way!  
GG: i don't know how yet but i know you manage it somehow  
GG: because the four of us all have to work together in the game!  
GG: we have important things to do together  
GG: you'll make it in time!

See, now, that’s nice. When Jade knows things that you don’t, it’s weird, but a comfortable sort of weird. Because they’re not things that you _should_ know and don’t. When Rose does it, you feel like you’re either missing something obvious or she knows a thing she shouldn’t know, like about you for example. Also, what the hell Rose. Police for this? When you’re broken into someone else’s apartment?

… To be fair, you didn’t tell her about that part. But still. There is absolutely no reason for a friend you actually trust to start calling the police on you like someone who doesn’t understand the unique life you and Bro have.

You kind of wish there was a way to tell her about your empty apartment without making her more suspicious. Some commiseration, probably, that would be nice. But you also don’t want to stress her out too much. Cause like, yeah your apartment is empty and Bro is really confusing you here, but at least he and you don’t have problems like Rose and her mom have with each other. If Bro picked up a drinking problem, your life would probably be screwed all to hell in various ways you don’t really need to think about since it’s never going to happen. Things like that don’t happen to a dude as cool as Bro.

Okay. Time to get clean clothes and maybe check if there’s anything else you need in here. You can wish your friends goodbye and get out pretty quick.

AA: d0nt take anything.

What.

AA: she is c0ming back right n0w  
AA: y0u need t0 get 0ut 0f there  
TG: who is this  
TG: how do you know where i am  
AA: cl0se the chat and get 0ut

Okay, this has officially reached horror movie levels of weird. And spooky. Normally you would prefer not to succumb to whatever feelings of anxiety you might or might not be feeling, but when a situation like this happens in the movies, turning back is just common sense. And you definitely have a lot of that.

AA: st0p stalling and get 0ut

Yeah. You close the private window.

Ugh, why is everything this lady owns so… bad? Even the door handle is difficult to turn. You manage to open her terrible heavy door and shut it behind you as quietly as possible right before you hear clomping leather shoes coming up the stairs. You abscond back up into your stairwell. Perfect score.

Well, at least you know that whoever this apocalypseArisen is, they seem to be on your side. If you’d managed to lock yourself out of your neighbor’s apartment for no reason, you’d feel like a dumbass. But now you also know you’re being watched. Surveilled. Something like that. Bro is big into cameras and stuff, maybe he’s keeping an eye on whatever you’re doing? The two have got to have something to do with each other. You’re not going to assume that your Bro’s absence, your missing week, and a suspiciously knowledgeable messenger would all happen at the same time if they weren’t related somehow. Clearly you just have to figure out what they have to do with one another, and you’ll be able to solve your problems.

You also need to find a computer you’ll be able to use to play the game with your friends. And maybe when you do that, you can message back AA and see what’s going on. It doesn’t make sense that your Bro would have the neighbors’ apartments wired up the same as yours, but somehow AA could tell where you were and when your neighbor was coming. You could explain knowing your location by having something planted on you. Maybe one stairwell camera to detect the neighbors. You guess it would make sense so that you weren’t being kicked down the stairs while people were around to hear the noise from upstairs. The idea of having some kind of tracker on you makes your skin prickle all over. You school your face and surreptitiously run your hands over your body, real slow and casual-like so if you are being watched Bro doesn’t catch you looking frantic. You don’t find anything. You guess that was a long shot anyway. A weird mixture of disappointment and relief washes through you. Disappointment, because you’d started to get your hopes up that he was still paying attention, that you were still worth watching. Relief, because for that minute or so where you thought Bro had planted something on you, your stress levels had shot back up to familiar _oh god oh god he’s watching me_ levels. It’s all good, it’s all cool. If he is watching you, it isn’t in a way that you can help or affect, so you’ll just have to keep making the best of your situation. You can work on ways to keep in contact with your friends. You can try to figure out what’s up with that weird stranger on Pesterchum. You should just sit for a second. Relax. Try to breathe.

 

**== >Rose: Be concerned for Dave.**

After Dave disconnected so abruptly from your conversation, you started doing research on the potential problems he could be facing. It has always been in good fun to poke at his humorous psychological slip-ups, but this has the potential to be something serious, and you don’t want to waste your time fooling around when something could actually be wrong. So you start some internet searches. Soon, you have more tabs open than Fluthlu has tendrils. It’s a common occurrence for you. Your chumhandle might as well be tabTreasurer or something equally self-referential. But in this case, they’re all pages pertaining to what you know about Dave’s situation.

You stack up tabs on guardians leaving their charges alone, tabs on temporary amnesia, family laws in Texas, and recent news developments, just in case Dave or his brother were involved in some incident that could have caused Dave’s amnesia. You hope it isn’t something serious like that, because gods forbid Dave be missing the memory of his brother’s death or something equally morbid, but at the same time having some easy physical explanation for what’s going on with him might be better than a complete mystery. Maybe his brother is in the hospital, and Dave isn’t able to remember what happened because of something that happened to them both. Unfortunately, this leads to a dead end, as no newsworthy public incidents seem to have occurred in the time period Dave specified. Houston does have its fair share of accidents and homicide reports as every large city does, but none of them are the right demographic to be Dave’s older brother. That’s a good thing. It means Dave isn’t certainly left on his own and his guardian might come back soon. You can’t ascertain whether he might be in a Houston hospital, but something that had only affected his brother wouldn’t cause Dave’s amnesia, so that idea should probably be shelved for now. It still disturbs you, though, the idea that nothing may have happened to cause this. Thinking about the possibility that your friend has been abandoned distresses you immensely. Hopefully one of your tabs on amnesia will help clarify.

It disturbs you more how this doesn’t help. Amnesia of a certain timeframe can be caused by extreme trauma or stress as well as head injuries. You’ll have to ask Dave about that the next time he comes online. One of the major problems that can happen in figuring these things out is that amnesia often causes the person to forget the event that brought the spell on in the first place. Surely Dave will be able to tell you whether he’s injured, but if it’s something like witnessing a horrific event (which you hope it isn’t, just as much as you hope that Dave is uninjured), he might not be able to tell you. It’s times like these that you wish your mother was a person you could go to for advice. Unfortunately, she isn’t even likely to be coherent at this hour, let alone ever be someone you can trust with anyone’s wellbeing. Hmm. Perhaps Dave’s brother has become intoxicated, and through the course of drunken shenanigans, lost his way or been incarcerated? Incarceration, that’s another thing it could be. Ugh, but this isn’t helping Dave’s amnesia problem either. You’ll certainly be able to speak to him again soon regarding his situation, since he’s promised to play the game with you all, but you’re still concerned about the length of time he’s missing and the length of time he’s been alone. He mentioned that his brother hadn’t been back for a few days, but was that counting from the day before his amnesiac period or the days since then that he’s been lucid? You have to ask. You know that everyone in your friend group is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves if need be (you are thirteen, after all—except John, who’s still twelve, but his father is exceptionally doting and would never leave him on his own) but you are also of an age that society deems incapable of the same. For instance, though you know enough to buy yourself food and clothes online if you were ever to need to procure such things, you also know that if you were to walk to a department store with your mother’s credit card in person, the employees at the least would probably regard it as strange. Being without his brother will make things much harder for Dave if he has to buy anything or go somewhere public alone. You’ll wait until tomorrow before you contact him again, to give him his space. You want your friends to be safe, and part of that is allowing them to choose when to talk to you about their problems. He knows how worried you were about him in the week he was absent. It’s up to him to know when to stop pushing his friends away.

You wish for the feeling of foreboding to subside, but it’s been wrapped around your mind for this long; it would only be more worrisome if it suddenly lifted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's lyrics are from [The Me In Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdswwh4h7WE) by Watt White. [theknightofdoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theknightofdoom) is my wonderful beta!


	4. t0 be t0tally h0nest

_Throw me in a box with the oxygen off_  
_You gave me the key then you locked every lock_  
_I was naive and hopeful and lost_  
_Now I'm aware and trapped in my thoughts_

* * *

**== >Dave: Experience heat wave.**

You don't know how long you sit in the corner this time, but it's long enough to bore you out of your skull. It's stupid to wait for something to happen downstairs, but you can't help feeling like there's something very vital you're waiting for. You take the time to pace through your empty apartment a few times, restlessly checking for anything you might have missed, but there's nothing, and you can't bring yourself to stay in there when the sun starts to set. So the stairwell it is again.

By the time the air starts heating up all around you, you realize you’re not going to be able to wait all that much longer. Time is ticking. Somehow you know.

The sun rises in terrible glory, like some enormous guy with laser vision decided to fry your apartment in particular. Heat rises as it always does. You should probably get to the roof, but you'd rather not. And you feel like… you don't. Like that's the thing that doesn't happen. Why haven't you wondered before why certain things happen? Why everything happens? Maybe there are things that are just supposed to be, or something like that. Is that a thing?

People are shouting downstairs. The argument is carrying unusually far. Oh, they must have the door open to let the heat go up the stairwell. Probably the windows too. Maybe you should go open your windows and see if you can get the heat to leak out into the sky. Maybe not. Maybe it's not all that important whether you do. There's that idea about a butterfly causing hurricanes across the sea with its wings, but if the butterfly is already in a hurricane, then all its fluttering wouldn't matter, right? You feel kind of like that now. Like your day is going to end a certain way no matter what you think. Going downstairs is… what is going to happen. Yes. You're doing this.

You drift toward the lower floors of the apartment. Your nearest neighbor doesn't have her door open, and neither does the one below that, but each floor below that one has an open door pouring hot air up in a draft. Like your apartment is one of those deep sea vents where colorful endangered sea worms live, and the heat flowing up the stairs is going to keep them all alive in the cold depths of the ocean, until the plates shift under them and the vent goes dry and they all go extinct. Poor extinct worms. Never had a chance at life since they can't actually leave the sea vent to try out anything new, can't relocate, can't live without the vent current providing nutrients and whatever. Oh, ow, shouting getting louder.

Okay, looks like Flighty Broad A is angry at Flighty Broad B for cracking her phone. Demanding something or other. You'll just stay out of sight until this gets straightened out. She wants a new phone or a repaired screen, you're not sure. Quite frankly, if she doesn't want it you’d be glad to take it… great, now you're thinking about how great it would be to have a phone with you. Now you really want it. You can't just zip in there and take it, though. That would be a terrible plan. You kind of want to, but Bro raised you smarter than that. Don't do things where you'll get caught. If you don't want to get punished, sneak better next time.

Okay, apparently you named these girls with the wrong letters, and it's irrationally irritating. Flighty Broad A is Bren and Flighty Broad B is Andy. It's unfair is what it is. Now you either have to rename them the other way round or actually care about what their names are. The one who broke the phone is offering to take it to get repaired, and the other one is complaining about being left in the hot apartment. Goddamn, make up your mind. At last they get to a conclusion. Finally. Phone Breaker is going to take the thing to get repaired and pay for cold drinks for them both. Wonderful. Conclusion to a drama that has nothing to do with you.

You watch her slip the phone into her oversized tote bag. You've always wondered why people carry those. Not only does it not have a top to keep the things from falling out, you could just… captchalogue the phone into your sylladex… and it would be gone. Phone Breaker leaves her [sister? girlfriend? Rose would have a field day with the fact that you even have this question] to chill out while she heads downstairs. One person being framed for phone robbery, coming up.

You wait until they're out of each other’s sights before you flashstep down the stairs to grab the phone. You have to slow out of the flashstep to captchalogue it, but you’re back in flash speed with a puff of air before she notices. She does notice the breeze, or at least she stops. You stop on the landing between the two girls just to make sure you aren't seen or heard. You've never been able to keep this stuff up as long as Bro, much as you'd really like to. Then again, flashstepping in the Texas heat has always been a tradeoff between the immense amount of energy you expend and the feeling of the air moving against you, making yourself hotter and cooler at the same time. Ha, hotter and cooler. That's you.

The girl keeps moving after that pause, shaking it off with a shudder. Hey, you’d think someone would be glad for a flashstep-breeze in this weather. It's not like flashstepping is a creepy thing for creepers. Even though what you just did might possibly be considered a creeper thing to do, being sort of pickpocketing and all. Yeah. You keep going up the stairs in short bursts until you reach the top.

Now you have a phone. The screen is cracked beyond hope, but most importantly, it's still usable. It's a bit of a brick, with a slide-out keyboard instead of the fancy touchscreen kind Bro got you, but phone-stealers can't be phone-choosers. It has internet and is still hooked into the apartment’s wifi network, so it's perfect by you. You lay it on the floor in front of you and start poking the keys with your forefingers. Never let it be said that you can't figure out how to text on this thing. First stop, Pesterchum. No, first stop, disabling the location on the device and logging out of apps with a friend-locating service. There. Now, second stop, Pesterchum.

TG: talk to me  
TG: whats going on  
AA: y0u g0t the palmhusk like y0u were supp0sed t0  
AA: thats g00d i guess  
TG: the what  
TG: you mean the phone  
TG: you knew i was supposed to do that  
AA: 0f c0urse  
AA: y0u felt it didnt y0u  
AA: temp0ral inevitability  
TG: i dont know what youre talking about  
TG: but  
TG: yeah  
TG: i did  
AA: y0u sh0uld get used t0 it  
TG: why  
TG: is this going to turn into a thing where you teach me the ways of the force  
TG: am i secretly an intergalactic jedi knight on a mission to save the universe from darth vader  
TG: only to find out that hes actually my secret space dad  
AA: n0  
AA: yes and n0  
AA: and i d0nt think s0  
AA: y0u will learn but i w0nt need t0 teach y0u  
AA: y0u are a knight but y0u w0nt be able t0 save the universe  
AA: i d0nt kn0w ab0ut the last 0ne but i think y0u w0uld have t0ld me ab0ut that if it were s0mething imp0rtant  
AA: s0 pr0bably n0t  
TG: wow  
TG: i dont think i understood a word of that but thanks for playing ball i guess  
TG: how do you know what im doing and what do you have to do with bro  
AA: i can see y0u thr0ugh my viewp0rt 0n tr0llian  
AA: y0ure interesting t0 me  
AA: n0t a l0t 0f things are interesting anym0re  
TG: normally id say thats depressing but right now id say youre not wrong about it  
AA: i kn0w  
TG: but what about bro  
TG: do you know him or is this just another dead end  
AA: haha  
AA: that was a g00d j0ke 0_0  
AA: br0 is the 0ne with p0inted glasses and a sw0rd  
AA: he m0ves fast like y0u d0 and carries a puppet ar0und  
TG: yes thats him but do you know whats up with him right now  
TG: did he send you  
TG: is he waiting for me  
AA: i guess  
TG: you guess what  
AA: i guess hes waiting f0r y0u  
AA: since y0u will meet him later  
AA: that is usually what waiting means  
TG: is he coming back  
TG: where do i need to go  
TG: what do i need to do  
AA: y0u need t0 play the game t0m0rr0w  
TG: why do you know about the game  
TG: are you reading my other messages  
AA: i kn0w ab0ut it because im a player t00  
AA: the b0y f0ur fl00rs d0wn isnt g0ing t0 use his huskt0p t0m0rr0w  
AA: he w0nt n0tice when y0u b0rr0w it  
AA: y0u w0nt need t0 b0rr0w it f0r very l0ng  
TG: how do you know that  
TG: why are you even giving me tips on whose laptop to steal  
AA: thats n0t imp0rtant  
AA: y0u need a c0mputer t0 play the game  
AA: im just helping y0u 0ut  
TG: are you serious  
AA: im always seri0us  
AA: this is a seri0us face 0_0  
TG: cant argue with that i guess  
TG: bro is coming back then  
TG: hell come back if i play the game  
AA: y0u will play the game and he will c0me back  
AA: als0 my name is aradia  
AA: this is pr0bably the first time i have t0ld y0u that  
TG: sure is  
TG: did bro tell you whats going on with him  
AA: he left y0u after y0ur last strife  
AA: y0u seem 0k with it  
TG: ok with what  
TG: with this thing where bro absconds into the abyss for a week and doesnt even leave me aj  
TG: im so chill about that  
TG: a strider can take it  
TG: striders dont need people all up in their business every hour of the day  
TG: a man doesnt need anything in this world but the beat in his soul  
TG: man doth not live by aj alone but by every sicknasty rhythm that he layeth down  
TG: thus saith some dead guy probably  
AA: ...  
AA: i guess 0_0  
AA: dave did y0u tr0ll me bef0re this  
TG: no  
AA: h0ld 0n  
(apocalypseArisen disconnected)  
(apocalypseArisen reconnected 4 hours ago)  
TG: aradia?  
AA: wh0 is this  
TG: its still dave  
TG: you were just messaging me  
TG: about getting a laptop to play the game  
TG: your timestamp is messed up  
AA: n0 its c0rrect  
AA: ill remember t0 d0 that  
AA: see y0u again s00n  
TG: uh  
TG: ok

You have no idea what that's about, but whatever you guess. If Bro is actually coming back when you play the game, that means you'll be seeing him tomorrow. Like possibly-less-than-twenty-four-hours tomorrow, depending on when you start and when he shows up. You feel… you're not sure what, at that. You're really tired of feeling tense all the time, like you were when you first got back here. Like you have been all your life. But not feeling tense makes you feel more like something’s wrong with you, so it isn't relaxing at all. That makes no sense, absolutely zero sense, like the absolute zero of outer space, that's how much sense that makes. But it's kind of true somehow. Maybe. You're just…

You're tired of caring. It's really exhausting to feel things with any kind of intensity, especially now that you've gotten sort of used to not having Bro at your back as a constant reminder to keep your thoughts behind your eyes and your shades in front of them. Thought sandwich, right there. Eye sandwich? If the thoughts were in the middle, that would be a thought sandwich. But the thoughts are on one side and the eyes are in the middle, and _this is stupid what are you going on about this time???_

Emotions are exhausting, that's what. You weren't goofing around when you agreed with Aradia that things aren't interesting anymore. You're just so tired.

Bro will come back and your life will go back to normal. That's something you can probably count on to be true. You'd ask Jade if she could know when that's going to happen except that you kind of really don't want to. She'd probably see you getting your ass handed to you and wonder what that was all about, with her squishy Jade concern and softish feelings. Green frowny faces, that's what you're setting yourself up for if you try to talk about it. And you don't even know if she can know things like that on purpose, or if her thoughts are just the ambient deliveries of the universe or something.

Besides, it's just one day from now and it probably wouldn't even be fair to talk about this stuff with someone since you already refused to talk to—

TT: Dave, are you there?

Yeah. Her. You don't… have enough energy for this…

TG: yeah rose whats up  
TT: Not much, really.  
TT: I must admit I thought you might be avoiding me after yesterday.  
TG: why would i do that  
TT: Because I might have touched a proverbial nerve?  
TG: nah  
TT: Not to intrude, but has your Bro shown his face since we last spoke?  
TG: hypothetically  
TG: lets say no  
TT: Did he at least provide for your needs in his absence?  
TT: My mother isn't always quite “present” in my life as you well know, but she keeps our house well-provisioned.  
TG: again with hypotheticals  
TG: no and i dont really care  
TG: im ok rose  
TG: you should maybe chill  
TT: I've been doing research, Dave. Internet searches, actually, but I'd like to think I can still help.  
TG: im just tired ok  
TG: too tired to deal with this right now  
TT: Have you been able to sleep recently?  
TG: why wouldnt i have slept i dont need bro to tuck me in  
TG: hes not a regular part of my sleeping routine  
TG: or an irregular part  
TG: if youre typing some kind of essay about that you should stop  
TT: Normally I would take some entertainment from that, but as it's really not the time for such things, I will refrain from giving you grief.  
TT: Are you eating well? Do you need me to send you anything?  
TG: i dont need anything rose  
TG: bro is coming back tomorrow  
TG: i got inside sources on this  
TG: top secret like the fbi  
TG: even though thats weird cause everyone knows about the fbi like why are they even a secret organization  
TG: itd have to be something with initials no one even knows  
TG: the bfi or something  
TT: What kind of sources? Are you in contact with your Bro?  
TT: If so, that's a relief.  
TG: not really its someone who knows whats happening  
TG: told me a bunch of stuff so now ive got no worries left whatsoever  
TT: I see. Do you know who this person is?  
TG: names aradia  
TG: shes pretty chill  
TG: or he i guess  
TG: aradia could be a guy name who knows  
TG: like dudes named Teri  
TG: but idk  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: And you're absolutely sure your Bro is returning tomorrow?  
TG: pretty positive yeah  
TT: Promise you'll tell me if he doesn't come back by tomorrow night.  
TT: I'm serious about this.  
TG: yeah sure fine jegus rose  
TG: what part of im ok with this situation is freaking you out so much  
TG: i promise ill let you know if he doesnt show up  
TG: just chill

She pauses for long enough to let your attention drift before messaging you again. Maybe you should feel annoyed or something. You don't really. You can kind of tell you're basically snapping at her. You want to feel sorry about that.

TT: I'm sorry for causing you stress, Dave.  
TT: I do have one more question, before I let you go.  
TT: It's just that you spoke of amnesia yesterday.  
TT: Have you experienced a head injury lately?

… Huh. She could be on to something. Not something you can necessarily fix, but at least she's trying to help you figure out what went wrong with you this past week.

TG: yeah  
TG: thats actually the last thing i remember happening  
TG: like i hit my head and then later i woke up fine  
TG: like it was a completely normal day  
TG: head didnt even hurt  
TG: it was like i was the main dude in one of johns action movies  
TG: seems like something that would happen to cages character  
TG: and john would cry over it and send us tearful elegies about how cage couldnt remember his daughters name or something  
TT: I doubt you were in a coma for a week. That would have left physical signs you couldn't have missed, and you would also have woken up in the hospital.  
TT: It's much more likely that you might have had trouble forming new memories.  
TT: If you woke up as you usually would have, you were probably functioning normally enough that your guardian let you sleep.  
TT: Which people with concussions should not do, by the way.  
TT: I may have read that on the internet but I do believe it is a valid medical conclusion.  
TG: ok noted  
TT: As soon as your Bro arrives home, you should ask him to take you to a doctor. How did you hit your head?  
TG: stairs yo  
TG: warned myself about em and everything  
TG: sbahj was a true premonition  
TG: ive got mad spooky astrology seance ouija crystal balls getting ogled in here  
TG: flashed by the future in a funky trench coat with nasty puppets peeking out of its pockets  
TG: then i turn my visions into artistic masterpieces  
TG: folks call em artefacts cause theyre priceless  
TG: belong in a museum next to all those greek statues of ancient nudist dudes  
TT: You do seem to be feeling better already. Back to your usual trains of thought, richly laden with phallic imagery.  
TT: Which, as we were discussing a potential brain injury, is reassuring.  
TT: Still, check in with me when we play the game tomorrow?  
TG: will do  
TG: see you tomorrow  
TT: See you tomorrow.

You're about tapped out on social interactions for the day. Two whole conversations, that's got to be some kind of anti-record. Sweet. Except kind of not.

 

**== >Dave: Do some tech support.**

You need a laptop, and you need the Sburb discs that are supposed to come in the mail. Both of those are things that you have to get before you can start the game, so you'd better get them today, or at least check if they're available. If you do those two things, you swear to yourself that's the last thing you do today. The air still shimmers with heat, and you suppose the laptop thing makes sense to do first while you still have that going for you.

Flashstep... flashstep... floor by floor. You can do this. Aradia said the one you need is only four floors down. Oh, nasty, is somebody puking their guts out in there? Yeah, this is four floors below yours. This is the place. Aradia must have known about this tenant being sick as a plague rat when she messaged you. You're pretty sure no one was expelling their internal organs the last time you walked this way, but maybe you just weren't paying enough attention. Nah, you definitely would have noticed this. You know the super loud, really disgusting, and hopefully fake noises people make in Bro's ironic animes? This is like that, but barfing. You'd really hope there's no such thing as Pukehub, but considering your faith in humanity up and died the day you found out what the happy puppets on TV were actually used for, you can't really rule it out. Statistically, somewhere, someone in the world would get off to this. Rose always says you're misusing the word "statistically," but you always tell her that statistically you've probably used it correctly at least once.

Hold on.

What the hell are you standing outside a guy's door listening to him puke for? You're supposed to be stealing his laptop!

You enter Puke Star's apartment. His window air unit is rattling and sputtering fit to die, probably not helping the heat situation in here at all. Oh dang, he probably has like heatstroke or something. It would probably be nice for someone to call the ambulance for him. Maybe someone who isn't robbing his apartment though. You pad around avoiding the line of sight from the bathroom just in case he manages a miraculous recovery in time to catch you in here stealing his stuff. That would suck pretty hard. Probably. You figure. Does the depth of the suck depend on how emotionally invested you are in the situation, or is it kind of an objective thing? If Dave Strider gets caught holding a guy's laptop, but he's too cool to care, does the situation still suck? Actually, it would pretty objectively be gross to be puked on, in case that turns out to be the guy's defense mechanism, like those weird-looking birds that spew their stomach acids at predators. You would probably hate that a lot.

You locate his laptop bag and check to make sure the laptop and cord are actually in there, and that it's got a spot for a CD, unlike some of those newer ones where they actually phased that part of the design out. It's a pretty ridiculous design flaw if people ask you. It's like the horrible realization you experienced when you found out most places only do digital mixing and don't use records at all anymore. Sure, digital is more useful and it's what you use most of the time since it would be pretty difficult to get your own samples recorded onto actual records with all the original composing you do, but you can't just kill a classic. That isn't progress, that's just ungenerous, downright unchivalrous... you should get some paper. Or type a note to yourself once you finish the technological abduction you're currently perpetrating. Yeah.

You zip the bag shut. The zipper needs oil or whatever people do to make zippers run smoother. It's a plastic zipper, though. You don't actually know whether those can take oil or if it will eat through the little zip-teeth like baby oil on condoms (which is clearly the reason it's called baby oil, according to basic logic). Captchalogue the laptop bag so you don't have to carry it. Out the door. Keep going down until the ground floor. You can make it. You never go this far down, Bro always gets the mail. Going down this many flights of stairs feels like tunneling down into the depths of the earth. You wonder how long it's been since you were this close to street level. Then you remember you just trekked across the city what, three days ago? You've been spending way too much time in your spot in the stairwell. You're starting to lose track of yourself. Time is sort of flowing all together like continents melting into magma and being recycled into other continents over trillennia. Is that the word for trillions of years? It should be. You're not actually sure whether the universe is a trillion years old or not. You're pretty sure Earth isn't anywhere near that old, but what do you know about universes? Not enough, that's what. And it wouldn't matter either, because continents couldn't exist without an earth to get all continental on.

You're at the mailroom. Nice. You hunt for your apartment's mailbox. Obviously it's got to be the last one since you're the topmost apartment. You've seen videos where the highest apartment is supposed to be the rich person's classy apartment and all the lowdown shady types live in cramped-up ground level ones where the police can burst in all dramatic-like. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense if you really think about it, though. Rich people probably don't want to have to carry their garbage down that many flights of stairs. And your apartment is defensible like a medieval tower, the highest ground. If the police were to actually show up for some terribly wrong reason, you'd probably have like half an hour warning as they rushed up the stairs exhausting themselves. That right there would be ironic.

Huh. There's a passcode on each of these, little light up buttons like a phone keypad. The password isn't the numbers for "lilcal" either. The lock beeps a denial as soon as you type the fourth digit, so it's probably just four numbers.

TG: do you know bros passcode for the mailbox  
AA: yes  
AA: 7699  
TG: 69 nice should have known bro would go for the irony

It works. Aradia really does know her stuff. There's a ton of mail in the box. Bro hasn't cancelled the mail or whatever you're supposed to do when you move out, so it's another point in favor of him coming back soon. The Sburb packets are at the front, two for you and two for Bro, probably freshly delivered since the rest of the mail is all squashed to the back behind them. You take the copies that belong to you, the weight of the packets feeling ominous in your hands. You captchalogue them so they can be out of sight and out of mind. After a couple seconds of indecision, you leave Bro's copies where they are.

You should message Aradia back and tell her about your success.

TG: you were right it was 7699  
TG: accurate information yo  
TG: thanks for the tip  
AA: what was 7699  
TG: the passcode for the mailbox  
TG: the one you just gave me  
AA: 0h  
AA: 0k  
AA: y0ure welc0me then 0_0  
TG: i have the game and the laptop now so im going to go back and rest until tomorrow  
TG: everything happens so much aradia  
AA: it d0es  
AA: everything has happened and will happen and has already happened  
AA: time is like that 0_0  
TG: too many happens we gotta stop this train somehow  
AA: y0u cant st0p it unf0rtunately  
AA: n0t until the m0bius d0uble reachar0und 0f idi0cy is c0mplete  
TG: haha this is why you rock  
AA: ill talk t0 y0u t0m0rr0w  
AA: y0u d0nt d0 anything interesting t0night  
TG: well i guess i dont then  
TG: see you

Aradia seems kind of forgetful. Maybe she's like Jade? Not like there's anything wrong with that, even though it can be frustrating when you want a straight answer. You figure it's just the way some people are. Never mind that, though. You're off to your safe spot to chill. You're so very done with today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's lyrics are from [R.I.P. 2 My Youth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKH-rcO6PA8) by The Neighborhood. Thanks to [theknightofdoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theknightofdoom) for beta reading! I've also added cover art to chapter one, so check that out if you haven't seen it yet!


	5. that word boner i made

_'Cause the light in your eyes,_  
_They started dancing for my brain_  
_'Cause I know,_  
_You're all about the world and when it's ending_

* * *

**== >Jade: Wake up.**

Today is the day! You've got this!

You're finally going to play the game with your friends! You've been waiting for this your entire life. It's your destiny, written up there in those big puffy clouds. You're going to play and you'll meet your friends in person, just like you always dreamed of doing. Then you'll do big important things together, and everything will be amazing.

First things first! You should wish John a happy birthday.

GG: hi john!!!! happy birthday!!  
EB: hi jade! thanks!  
EB: i've already managed to evade one cake today... but we'll see, jade, we'll see :B  
GG: hahaha!! did my present arrive yet?  
EB: i don't think the mail is here yet!  
EB: i'll keep an eye out for it anyways.  
EB: we're going to play sburb when it gets here too!  
EB: dave promised me he's not going to back out this time.  
EB: i will hold him to his word!  
EB: birthday promise privilege hehehe :B  
GG: he told me about that too!  
GG: it's going to be great, john!!  
GG: you'll see  
GG: and don't worry about my present  
GG: you'll open it right when you need it most!!!! :D  
EB: i can't wait, jade! i know i'll love whatever you got me.  
EB: since it's from you! :B  
GG: i'm glad john!!  
GG: and  
GG: um  
GG: if there's any place you would really like to go for breakfast  
GG: you should probably do that before we play the game!  
EB: uhhh  
EB: okay?  
EB: i'll think about it  
EB: but if the game comes early i might just ask my dad if we can go tomorrow  
EB: i really can't wait, jade!  
GG: well  
GG: okay!  
GG: that's fine then  
GG: i'll see you soon, john!!  
EB: bye jade! 

Birthday wishes accomplished! You only have a few more places to be before you have to enter the game. You've seen them in advance, of course. You like to make sure you're exactly where you're needed! You're destined to be in those places anyway, but it's more fun when you do it on purpose. You really hope John takes your advice to visit some favorite places before they're out of range. You haven't seen whether he does or not. It would probably be weird to watch your friend go out to eat, anyway, and you think that maybe Skaia isn't particularly interested in that either. You see what Skaia sees, after all.

For a minute you picture what it would be like if everyone else could see you, too. Wouldn't that be something! Big curious Jade eyes in the sky, shiny white teeth smiling at everyone through the clouds. Your teeth are very shiny. You brush after every meal, and once in the morning for good luck. Just like your grandpa advised you! The man has always had an impressive set of chompers. You've seen pictures of him at a young age, and you have his teeth! Metaphorically. You do technically have his literal teeth as well, but they're still in his head because that's where they belong.

Once you place everything you need to, you'll be able to pick up the copies of the game you've been waiting for! From what you understand, they'll probably be slightly used, but that's fine. A lot of things have been a lot of places before you got them, and sometimes you have things for a while before they leave and become someone else's. Reduce, reuse, reappearify: the way of the island.

Ahhhhh, you're finally going to be able to hug your friends and cheek-squish them whenever you want, and you've got so many hugs and cheek-squishes saved up! It can be really hard watching your friends be sad from far away and not be able to do anything but send them a message on Pesterchum. If you could fly your dream-bot all the way around the world to go find them and comfort them whenever they need you, you'd be happy to sleep forever, just for that. Even now, whenever you sleep, you visit John and cover up all the sad and hateful thoughts on his walls with notes that tell him how much you love him and believe in him. You still believe he can wake up, any day now! Especially since you're so close to entering the game. As soon as you get there together, he'll have to wake up, and you can tell him out loud just how much he means to you, and you can both write happier words on his walls together. You wish he wouldn't think all those mean, horrible things about himself, but what can you do but try to make it better? So you do that, and whenever you're awake, you do your best at being a friend from right where you are. And the instant you see John, you're going to hug the stuffing out of him!

 

**== >Jade: Answer troll.**

Your other friend is messaging you now. She's a troll, and the best thing is, she knows all about Prospit! You talk about what you see, sometimes, but more often you just talk about what you like about the golden city. You both love the bright sky best of all.

GA: Hello Jade Human  
GG: hello jade troll! :D  
GA: Today Is The Day That You Finally Enter The Incipisphere  
GG: yes!!! i'm so excited to finally go there in person! :D  
GG: i've been waiting my whole life!  
GA: I Likewise Experienced Such A Feeling  
GA: Having Dreamed On Prospit Since I Was Very Young  
GA: A Feeling Not Unlike  
GA: Coming Home  
GG: i'm so excited to meet my friends!!!  
GG: will i get to meet you too?  
GA: No  
GA: Even If Our Sessions Were The Same  
GA: I Have Not Been On Prospit In Some Time  
GA: And It Is Now Beyond My Reach  
GA: But For What The Thought Is Worth  
GA: I Hope You Enjoy Your Stay While It Lasts  
GA: And I Would Also Like To Apologize  
GA: In Advance For You But Retroactively For Me  
GG: why? :O  
GA: You Are About To Reach The First Conversation I Ever Had With You From My Perspective  
GA: I Am Afraid I Was Unnecessarily Confrontational  
GA: In Other Words Very Soon I Will Be Inordinately Rude To You For What Will Appear to Be No Reason  
GA: And This Will Cause You Distress  
GA: For That I Am Sorry  
GG: oh no! i will do my best not to mind...  
GG: i might still mind anyway because rude things can hurt! D:  
GG: but i'm glad you went back and became my friend  
GG: and didn't let what you did in the past stop you!  
GA: I Am Thankful For That As Well  
GA: I Have Enjoyed Being Your Childhood Friend  
GG: and i think it's brave of you to fess up to what you did!  
GG: or i guess are about to do in my timeline?  
GG: it would probably hurt more if i didn't know it was coming... :(  
GA: I Believe Your Unusually Forgiving Spirit Compelled Me To To Seek Out Your Friendship  
GA: In This Way Perhaps My Bad Behavior And Your Good Nature Created A Self Fulfilling Cycle  
GG: well then i will do my best!  
GG: and don't worry kanaya!!  
GG: no matter what you say to me in the past, i'll know what a nice person you really are.  
GG: i won't let it stop us from being friends!!!

Wow, it's a little sad to find out that your normally super-considerate friend once did something like that, and that you'll have to experience it soon. But the best thing about that is, you know that she grew to be a better person. Because people can change! You're so glad she's not like those other trolls who seem to have nothing to do but give you a hard time. Whatever they're all upset about, it doesn't make it right to bother and harass you for your whole life! At least, your whole life since you first got your Pesterchum account. But you're pretty sure some of those trolls would have been just as mean to you as a baby if they could have. That reminds you, you've had the same account for a long time! Wow. You're so glad John sent you that package so long ago. Of course, it was always destined to happen, but that makes your friendship no less real! Just like your friendship with Kanaya. What you choose to do is always important, destiny or not. And right now, you're going to save a friendship before it begins.

When the message alert pings, you take a deep breath and you steady your heart.

And you answer your past and future friend.

 

**== >Dave: Rap in AA's general direction.**

It's today. You're doing this. You're making it happen. When you play the game, Bro will come back. As far as you can understand, that is. Sounds kind of like some eldritch Bro-summoning ritual when you put it that way, but you know. What else can you do. You've been doing whatever he wants you to do for all your life and there's pretty much no reason that would ever stop. He knows better than anyone how to be a rad and totally self-sufficient dude, so if you ever want to be the same, you're best off learning from the master. Your heart is kicking up some extra sick beats thinking about it. Yeah. Bro is awesome and he's going to show up within a couple hours. You're totally jazzed about this. You are. That tingle in your bones is performance anxiety.

As soon as he shows up, you've got to prove yourself to him. You're going to find out what made him leave you behind when he went wherever he's at right now, and make sure you never make him do that again. Aradia will help you through this part, and after Bro gets here... Okay, you don't really know what Aradia's role is after that. It probably depends on how much she's actually involved with Bro. Come to think of it, you don't even know how old she is. You've been thinking about her as though she's your age, but she could be pushing thirty or however old Bro is exactly. He's too cool to celebrate his birthday, so you're admittedly kinda fuzzy on the details there. You'll figure out what happens with Aradia after you get the whole Bro thing straight.

You're about to hit her up when she messages you first.

AA: hell0 dave  
TG: morning aradia  
TG: hows life treating you  
AA: i c0uld ask y0u the same thing  
AA: are y0u ready dave  
TG: physically yes  
TG: i have the laptop and the game  
TG: mentally also yes  
TG: been prepping myself for this  
TG: prepping so hard  
TG: were going in  
TG: the hardest the biggest the most rigid test  
TG: ive got the mad skillset to outstrip the rest  
TG: stretching horizons cause ive got my eyes on  
TG: the prize and im rising im fighting realizing  
TG: that my information needs recalibration  
TG: dont know how i got into this situation  
TG: but im sticking it out and im sticking it in  
TG: ...  
TG: the cd good holy puppet god this rap is cancelled  
AA: y0ure 0nly cancelling it n0w 0_0  
TG: just forget that whole thing happened  
TG: speaking of things i forgot  
TG: what happened to that guy downstairs  
TG: like did he actually dehydrate and die  
TG: cause i think i would feel bad about that  
TG: if that were a thing that was true  
AA: i d0nt kn0w  
AA: y0u werent there  
TG: so you are watching me specifically  
AA: was that n0t implied  
AA: i t0ld y0u that y0ure interesting t0 me  
TG: ok but that means what exactly  
AA: im helping y0u t0 master y0ur aspect  
AA: am0ng 0ther things  
TG: my what now  
TG: hold on are you being the yoda to my luke again  
TG: ancient alien master teaching the young hero what he needs to do to blow up the death star or whatever  
TG: only it turns out there was a second death star and they have to blow up that one too  
AA: that is exactly what is g0ing 0n here actually  
AA: y0u seem to be getting a g00d grasp 0n the timeline  
AA: i have t0 admit im a little surprised  
AA: the last time i talked t0 y0u in the future y0u didnt kn0w ab0ut the green sun yet  
AA: im n0t sure whether that is g00d 0r bad  
TG: the what sun  
TG: suns right there and its pretty clearly red  
AA: 0r a misunderstanding i guess  
AA: s0me things are just c0smic c0incidences  
AA: which is t0 say theyre n0t c0incidences at all but merely parallel 0currences  
AA: and n0t expressi0ns 0f f0rekn0wledge  
AA: c0smic f0reshad0wing s0 t0 speak  
AA: i asked karkat ab0ut y0ur m0vie reference and he said y0u misspelled y0ddha and leukkh 0_0  
TG: ...  
TG: what planet is this karkat from i need to meet him immediately  
TG: please dear god ask him how he spells the title  
TG: is it like  
TG: staarr warrrs  
TG: ask him right now  
AA: hes fr0m alternia  
AA: alth0ugh it was 0bliterated s0me time ag0  
AA: im just g0ing t0 c0py and paste his resp0nse t0 y0u ab0ut the m0vie  
AA: IT'S SPELLED, "IN WHICH A YOUNG HIGHBLOOD MYSTERIOUSLY RAISED BY A LUSUS OF MISMATCHING BLOOD COLOR DISCOVERS HIS TRUE HERITAGE AND LATENT PSIONIC ABILITIES WHEN HE INTERCEPTS A MESSAGE FROM AN HEIRESS REQUESTING THE SERVICE OF AN OLD WAR HERO, AND IN WHICH THE YOUNG HIGHBLOOD BATTLES AN OLDER AND MORE EXPERIENCED HIGHBLOOD ONLY TO FIND THAT HIS OPPONENT IS HIS ANCESTOR, THE KNOWLEDGE OF WHICH WAS KEPT FROM HIM BY HIS ANCESTOR'S KISMESIS AND FORMER MENTOR, CONTAINING PALE/FLUSH VACILLATIONS BETWEEN THE HIGHBLOOD AND THE HEIRESS ENDING IN A STABLE MOIRALLEGIANCE, AND CONTAINING ACTS OF RECKLESS HEROISM BY THE HEIRESS'S EVENTUAL LOWBLOODED MATESPRIT AND HIS STEADFAST MOIRAIL WHO SPEAKS ONLY IN THE TONGUE OF LUSII, AND IN WHICH A MAJOR SPACE STATION IS DESTROYED RESULTING IN THE SUBSEQUENT CROWNING OF THE HEIRESS AND HONORS GIVEN TO HER QUADRANTS AND COMPATRIOTS." CAN THIS HEINOUS BULGEGRINDER NOT REMEMBER THE TITLE OF A SINGLE FILM TRILOGY? WAS HE BOUNCED ON HIS HEAD AS A GRUB? "STAARR WARRRS" ARE YOU SHARPENING MY HORNS HERE. ASK HIM IF HE SUFFERED BRAIN DAMAGE WHEN HE FELL FROM THE HEAVENS.  
AA: i d0nt think i need t0 ask y0u since the questi0n is right there 0_0  
TG: oh  
TG: my  
TG: god  
TG: this man is a master of the sweetest irony i need his chumhandle right now  
TG: give it to me aradia  
TG: i cant believe this guys pickup line  
TG: did you suffer brain damage when you fell from heaven oh sweet jegus on an x cross  
TG: its so ironic its made of steel  
TG: steel like the buttocks of my fursona  
TG: which i have ironically  
TG: just like bro does  
AA: his tr0lltag is carcin0geneticist  
TG: ok im assuming thats an o right there cause pesterchum gave me a dirty look for using a number  
TG: does he smoke or something cause i think ive only seen carcinoma on things about smoking  
AA: does he sm0ke what  
TG: oh cigarettes  
TG: i mean i guess he could smoke some dank weed if he wanted to  
TG: were a little young for that probably  
TG: hold on how old are you guys  
AA: i d0nt think he sm0kes anything  
AA: undesirable vegetati0n 0r 0therwise 0_0  
AA: we are b0th 6 sweeps  
TG: no way  
TG: youre definitely trolling me youre not 6  
AA: its true 0_0

Goddamn. And you just talked about weed and dicks. Wait, no, forget that gut reaction, Aradia doesn't talk like she's six. She's like, probably smarter than you. Sweeps though? You've never heard of a sweep, but maybe it's one of those things like fortnights or decades, where it's some weird and completely arbitrary length of time, unlike the sensible and totally not random number of days in a normal year. Oh wait.

TG: hey aradia  
TG: what the hell is a sweep  
AA: 0h  
AA: h0ld 0n  
AA: h0w many nights 0ld are y0u  
TG: i have to do math now are you serious  
TG: just tell me how old you are in years  
TG: while i look this up  
AA: h0w many nights are in a year  
TG: three hundred sixty five and a quarter  
TG: i thought you were the one who wanted us to do math  
AA: 0kay  
AA: i am 13 years 0ld 0_0  
TG: see why couldnt you have done that earlier  
TG: also im apparently 4880 days old  
TG: or i guess 4879 nights cause its not night yet  
AA: s0 y0u are als0 6 sweeps 0ld  
AA: there are 791 and three eighths nights in a sweep  
TG: why would you do this to yourself  
TG: or wait youre doing it to me nevermind  
TG: you got me  
TG: top tier trick there  
TG: consider your pranksters gambit ticked  
AA: 0k  
AA: i c0nsidered it  
AA: n0w what 0_0  
TG: well dangit i dunno  
TG: when will bro get here  
AA: y0u have s0me time l0nger t0 wait  
AA: this is pr0bably when i am supp0sed t0 give y0u the instructi0ns  
TG: what instructions  
TG: shouldnt they come with the game  
TG: or wait  
TG: are these bro instructions  
AA: they are b0th  
TG: ok  
TG: lay it on me  
TG: my body is ready  
AA: haha 0_0  
AA: at times like these i feel like i understand why y0u like ir0ny s0 much  
TG: well irony is obviously the best form of humor  
TG: but give me the rollout  
TG: what do i have to do  
AA: d0nt let the puppet t0uch the sprite  
TG: are you talking about lil cal  
TG: why isnt he supposed to touch sprite  
TG: and when are we getting some  
AA: n0t s0me sprite the kernelsprite  
AA: it is a game piece y0u will 0btain after y0u start  
TG: huh ok  
TG: is that the only instruction  
TG: kinda figured there would be more information here  
AA: n0 it is just the m0st imp0rtant 0ne  
AA: if y0u let the puppet t0uch the kernelsprite and be pr0t0typed  
AA: the timeline will be d00med  
TG: well thats not ominous or anything  
AA: it is b0th 0min0us and seri0us  
AA: d00med timelines mean that every0ne will die  
AA: s00ner instead 0f later  
TG: ok i will not let lil cal touch the kernelsprite i guess  
AA: at any c0st  
TG: yeah sure i got it  
AA: y0u have t0 repeat it  
TG: i will not let lil cal touch the kernelsprite at any cost  
TG: are you happy now  
AA: n0t particularly  
AA: but that is n0t y0ur fault  
AA: i have n0t been happy in a l0ng time  
AA: but when i talk t0 you  
AA: i think  
AA: i feel less apathetic than i usually d0  
TG: ouch  
TG: i mean im glad you like talking to me  
TG: but  
TG: that sounds like it sucks  
TG: and not like i think theres something wrong with you or anything but like  
TG: maybe you should get that checked out  
TG: i could hook you up with rose  
TG: shes tentacletherapist  
TG: its got therapist in it cause she likes picking around in peoples brains  
TG: shell probably be happy to talk to you about your thing  
AA: its really n0t necessary  
AA: but i appreciate y0ur matchmaking eff0rts  
TG: oh whoa ok  
TG: the fact that you and rose might like to talk to each other about your feelings or whatever was a fact that i was stating for the record  
TG: it does not mean that matchmaking was what was going on there  
AA: if y0u insist  
AA: i didnt mind it th0ugh  
AA: if y0u want to meddle  
AA: im 0k with it 0_0  
TG: its just that  
TG: talking about feelings and stuff is not one of my rad skills yo  
TG: so i think youd be better off talking to someone whos smart with those things  
AA: 0h  
AA: d0 y0u talk to r0se ab0ut y0ur pr0blems then  
TG: hell no  
TG: not any more than i have to  
TG: shed probably be thrilled if i did  
TG: more psychoanalytic junk to hold over my head  
TG: its bad enough shes after me about bro not being here  
TG: ...  
TG: look can we not talk about rose anymore  
TG: lets talk about the game and the instructions that were so important earlier  
AA: 0f c0urse  
AA: s0rry  
TG: its cool  
AA: y0u might have questi0ns ab0ut the next 0ne but im 0k with that  
AA: future y0u t0ld me t0 tell y0u that y0u need t0 tell y0ur friend jade ab0ut y0ur furs0na  
TG: what  
AA: specifically  
AA: future y0u said y0u need t0 tell her that y0ur furs0nas name is akwete purrmusk 0_0 

What the hell.

What in the actual goddamn.

You'd file a lot of things under "stuff that Bro probably knows" and figure people he knows probably know it too, but even with all his sicknasty psychological tricks Bro isn't a goddamn mind reader. Even if it sometimes feels like it, he's just that ninja at getting information from you. If you've saved the information somewhere, he probably knows it. But this? No. Oh no god _damn_ no. Nobody, not even Bro, can glean something this inane from the depths of your brainstem. Is the brainstem where info is kept? That might be the hypo something. Hypophallamus? Yeah, that sounds like something Rose would say. So this is... probably a real message from future you. Why. Why is this happening to you of all people?

Forget the hypophallamus, you should probably say something.

TG: how do you even know that  
TG: ive never said that out loud  
TG: or put that in writing literally anywhere  
TG: are you seriously telling me that at some future date  
TG: i time travel  
TG: and for some insane reason  
TG: i do this thing for the express purpose of telling you  
TG: the name of my goddamn fursona  
AA: n0  
AA: y0u messaged me thr0ugh time t0 tell me that 0ne  
AA: in the future y0u will travel through time a l0t th0ugh  
AA: we are b0th time players  
AA: 0r at least y0u will be a time player as s00n as y0u get int0 the game  
AA: which i supp0se in s0me way retr0actively makes y0u have been 0ne y0ur entire life  
TG: ok  
TG: assuming i believe you  
TG: which i kind of do  
TG: i mean unless youre a mindreader  
TG: which is probably a thing that is fake  
TG: theres pretty much no way you could have done that thing that you just did  
TG: does this mean the game is supposed to give me superpowers  
AA: yes  
AA: fr0m my perspective it has already d0ne that  
AA: the most recent versi0n 0f y0u that i have sp0ken t0 is fr0m several h0urs int0 y0ur future  
TG: wait hold on  
TG: if future me is giving past me a message that means i probably have to follow through on it or its a paradox right  
AA: yes  
TG: ok one message to jade coming up 

You pull up Jade's chat window.

TG: hey jade  
TG: apparently youre going to need this info sometime soon according to a message from future me  
TG: my fursonas name is akwete purrmusk  
TG: dont ask me why i have to tell you that  
TG: if i knew i would be a person that knows things  
TG: hello  
TG: are you awake  
TG: ...  
TG: ok just hang onto that info  
TG: and when you figure out what its for please tell me because i would like to know what future me is up to  
TG: making me give out this prime information  
TG: like its some kind of james bond password 

You kind of wonder what Jade is doing right now, but it's also none of your business, so whatever. You'll be talking to her later whenever you all get the game stuff straightened out anyway.

TG: is there any chance of me finding out what that was about anytime soon  
AA: n0  
AA: there will n0t be time  
AA: y0u have t0 c0nnect t0 the game bef0re y0ur br0 c0mes back  
TG: jegus ok  
TG: so lets get to that part  
TG: what do i do when he gets here  
TG: what does he want  
AA: y0u stay 0n the r00f  
TG: ...  
TG: thats it  
TG: i just stay on the roof  
TG: are we going to strife  
TG: cause i dont have a sword  
AA: y0u stay 0n the r00f  
AA: that is what y0u d0  
AA: y0u delete y0ur l0gs and then y0u stay up there  
TG: why would i do that  
TG: and what logs am i deleting  
TG: what does this have to do with bro  
AA: that is what y0u t0ld me in the future  
AA: y0u deleted the l0gs since y0u came back  
AA: y0u are n0t the 0nly 0ne f0ll0wing instructi0ns  
AA: i am supp0sed t0 help y0u c0mplete y0ur first causal l00p  
AA: fr0m y0ur future perspective i had already d0ne that in y0ur past  
AA: s0 i am d0ing it n0w  
TG: alright  
TG: thats fine i guess  
TG: you dont make sense but  
TG: i also feel like you do  
TG: for some reason  
TG: like theres a part of me that just gets it when you talk about that stuff  
TG: and its kind of freaky  
TG: im not sure whether i have an actual opinion on it yet  
TG: but i guess ill figure it out  
AA: it sh0uld make sense t0 y0u  
AA: y0u are the knight 0f time  
TG: and right there you lost me  
AA: there is n0thing t0 w0rry ab0ut  
AA: the 0utc0me is already fixed  
AA: if there was anything i c0uld like ab0ut being d00med  
AA: that w0uld pr0bably be it 

Huh. From what you can tell, Aradia gets a little morbid sometimes, but you can appreciate that. You and Rose are already part of a set with your collection of dead stuff and the eldritch queen of horrors thing she's got going on, so one more joining the crew isn't bad at all. You guess it could be considered a little worrying combined with the apathy she was talking about earlier, but... you're really not a psychologist and feelings aren't really your jam. It's why you figured she'd prefer to talk to Rose instead of you, before she shut you down like that. Or shut Rose down by proxy. How does that even work, actually? Is it still a rejection if you weren't offering, and it was Rose and not yourself that you weren't offering? ... Boy, that's a mess of concepts you don't know how to untangle right now.

You'll just have to get in contact with your friends and start up the game. Seems the only way to go forward from here is to follow those instructions you're ninety-nine percent certain your future self really did leave for you. Aradia hasn't been wrong so far. You'll just have to trust her the same way you trust your other friends. Sight unseen, words onscreen. They've got your back. If you have to do some kind of paradoxical time thing for them, you'll do it.

It's go time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's lyrics are from [The Exit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkEvNBILTYA) by Lydia! Thanks to [theknightofdoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theknightofdoom) for beta reading!


	6. Lies of omission do not exist.

_Our love was like an anagram_  
_House on sand_  
_Now I understand_  
_There is no amity in animosity._

* * *

**== >Dave: Answer John.**

John pesters you, which is as good a way as any to get things started. You've been short on best bro time lately, so that's cool. And you were looking forward to getting this particular message anyway... John's annual present unboxing. It's his birthday, and you got him something pretty sweet if you do say so yourself.

EB: hey dave! your present came in the mail!  
EB: guess who's about to open his birthday loot?  
TG: oh man i cant guess  
TG: is it obama  
TG: please say its obama  
EB: of course it's not obama dave!  
EB: i don't even know when his birthday is...  
EB: but i wanted you to be online when i open it!  
EB: since we haven't gotten to talk barely at all lately, and i miss my best buddy!  
EB: you're not going to back out of the game, right?  
TG: no way im definitely playing  
TG: wouldn't do that to you egbro  
TG: not on this day  
TG: the egberthday  
EB: hehe! i thought i would get to use my birthday promise privilege :B  
TG: i could be bratty for you if you want  
TG: pouting my lips at you all seductively  
TG: make me birthday boy  
TG: make me play with you  
EB: ew, gross!!  
EB: stop being weird for three seconds so i can open my present!  
TG: ...  
TG: ...  
TG: ...  
TG: three seconds are over egbert is the present open  
EB: oh my god dave  
EB: i can't believe it  
EB: you really got me the bunny from con-air?  
TG: the very same one dude  
TG: i hope you appreciate the cultural legacy you just got handed  
TG: considering how many sweaty nerds have probably cuddled that bunny to sleep while sucking their thumbs  
TG: making it like  
TG: probably the nerdiest family legacy you could possibly get  
TG: and probably full of germs  
TG: like an advanced civilization of germs  
TG: with like  
TG: i dont know  
TG: germ movies starring a microscopic nic cage  
TG: actually god i hope not that sounds disgusting  
EB: bluuuh, you don't need to make it sound like that!  
EB: i know you got me this because you're my best bro, and no amount of irony is going to change that. :B

You got Bro to mail his gift the morning before your missing time. Even though you weren't sure he'd think it was ironic enough of you, he actually kind of seemed to approve of the dingy rabbit doll. You counted that a success and decided not to guess whether it had anything to do with plush toys' similarity to puppets. That is a road you are not going to go down, even caught in one of Rose's psychoanalytic throes.

EB: we just need to wait for rose to get online, and then we can start.  
EB: the website says players have to join in a chain, so rose is going to connect to me and then you connect to rose.  
EB: then jade will follow you and then i'll close the chain!  
EB: if we do it like that, the multiplayer should be set up right.  
EB: the site said it doesn't recommend playing alone...  
EB: it makes the game really hard or something, i guess.  
TG: got it so i follow rose and jade follows me  
TG: do we have an eta or what  
EB: she'll be here any minute!  
EB: i think jade is talking to someone right now, but she said she'll join in when she's ready.  
TG: guess its just us bros until they get here huh  
EB: yep! :B  
EB: by the way  
EB: your birthday note was sweet  
EB: in the aww adorable way not the ironic way heheheh  
TG: lies and slander  
TG: ive never been adorable in my life  
EB: no dude i like it!  
EB: i'm going to keep it as proof of our pure and unironic friendship  
EB: like the letter i sent you! :B 

Oh. You don't know where his letter is anymore. All your stuff is gone. Bro probably wouldn't have kept that. It's just a note, like the hundreds or thousands of strife notes you've gotten over the years. Except this one's kinda bleedingly sincere, like it might as well have been written in John's blood, if John's blood was bright blue for some reason. Actually, you don't like thinking about John's blood in any context. Let's back that thought up and just not have it this time.

You hope his note is still with your stuff, wherever it is.

TG: ...  
TG: yeah thats  
TG: that was cool of you dude  
EB: hehehehe!  
EB: rose is ready to play!  
EB: i'll talk to you again soon dave!  
TG: see you later birthday bro 

**== >Rose: Daisy chain.**

Despite some delays, you're now ready to join up with your friends. You had to deal with more of your mother's shenanigans this morning. Honestly, the way that woman manages to continue her jabs at you day in and day out is astonishing. Or it should be astonishing by all rights. Unfortunately, you've had far too much experience dealing with her for her actions to garner even the smallest amount of surprise. Dismay, perhaps. Irritation. But not surprise. Now you have a live pony for which she expects you to take responsibility, even though you very much did not ask for this gift. You'll have to research its proper care, because your mother surely won't do it. And if it dies, you're sure to have another garish funeral and ostentatious mausoleum presented to you, transparently chiding you for your inability to keep an animal alive.

That mausoleum is actually where you're situated at the moment. It is _not_ because your mother's needling aggravated you into leaving, no. This is for a far more respectable and less demoralizing reason.

Your house is on fire.

Would that you had set it afire yourself, reducing your place of torment to a literal Gehenna to match its metaphorical qualities. On second thought, that would have been gauche and rather silly. And also a demonstration of a lack of self-control the likes of which you hope you will never display.

No, your house is burning because meteors have been showering all morning, and a chance meteorite has finally sparked the buildup of pine needles in the forest surrounding your home. You're fairly certain your mother owns a depressing number of acres of barren forest. An expansive estate, an ostentatious symbol. Sometimes you wonder if she ever plans to do anything with it. You might, if you find a way that won't tip the scales too far in your mother's favor, ask her to have a section renovated into a paddock for the pony she's given you. You certainly can't keep it indoors. She might build you an obnoxiously pink pony paradise, but you suppose you'll have to grit your teeth and soldier through it.

You never want to have another funeral in your life.

You rest your laptop on Jasper's coffin and start it up. The internet in your house started flickering out as soon as the meteors began falling, which was startling for several moments as you briefly contemplated whether the gods of the furthest ring were finally wreaking vengeance upon this foul earth. But as meteor showers are typically a local occurrence, there isn't much the news could show you even if you could maintain access to a feed. You weren't even able to tell John you might be delayed. So you won't be. You refuse to become a woman who breaks her promises. And thus you are spending the day in the eternal resting place of your departed cat.

TT: Good morning, John. How has your birthday been thus far?  
EB: hi rose! it's been great!  
EB: dave got me the best present EVER.  
EB: i mean not like compared to you or jade! i'm not comparing you guys... but like, compared to stuff i've gotten from dave, you know?  
EB: it was a top tier bro gift. unbelievable, rose. unbelievable. :B  
TT: That does sound exciting. I hope the rest of your birthday goes just as well.  
TT: I'm sorry I didn't contact you before now. I was up late doing some research, and this morning our internet became unstable.  
TT: I am ready to play the game now, if you are.  
EB: awesome! i've been talking to dave, i told him about the order we're joining the game and everything.  
TT: Are we all able to join right away? Even Jade?  
EB: i think jade is going to be a few minutes late, but that's okay! she said we could go ahead and start, she's talking to someone.  
TT: Really? Not a troll this time?  
EB: yeah i know! i told her they'll leave her alone if she changes her chumhandle, but she's really attached to the one she has.  
EB: that one guy was sooo weird, rose. so weird.  
EB: i can't believe i thought it might be dave pranking me at first.  
EB: you should have seen it... so much secondhand embarrassment!  
TT: Yes, I saw, Jade sent me your screenshots.  
EB: she did? oh boy so you REALLY understand.  
EB: i bet you'd like to do your head shrinking thing on him, huh? :B  
TT: Oh, I don't think his head needs to be shrunk any more than it already is.  
TT: Actually, do you mind if I send those to Dave? It might cheer him up.  
EB: that's a great idea, go ahead! i think i deleted mine... good thing you have a copy! :B  
TT: Nothing perishes from the internet, John. Nothing.  
EB: bluhhh, i'd hate to be that guy! at least i didn't post it anywhere. that would probably be kind of mean. even though he did troll me first.  
TT: I highly doubt it will get back to him. But thank you, I'll send those to Dave as soon as possible.  
TT: I'm installing the server disc now.  
TT: Oh, it found your client immediately. How did it know?  
EB: how did it know what?  
TT: That I wanted to connect to you specifically.  
TT: I doubt we are the only ones playing this game at this time.  
EB: uhhh... i don't know enough about computers to know the answer to that!  
TT: I'll look into it later.  
TT: Right now, I can see you on the viewport and our connection is established.  
TT: As I understand it, that should mean I can remove the server disc and connect to Dave with the client.  
TT: I don't want to leave him waiting longer than I must.  
EB: okay! i don't see anything happening with the game yet, so i'll wait for you. 

You eject the server disc and insert the client. It's getting uncomfortably warm in here and your fingers leave quick-drying beads of sweat on the top surface of the discs. While the client installs, you wipe your hands dry on your skirt and contact Dave.

TT: Good morning, Dave. John and I just connected in the game. Are you ready to join?  
TG: you know it  
TG: lets drop it like its hot  
TT: Alright, the client is installed on my computer. If you run the server you should be able to find me.  
TG: got it  
TG: loading circle  
TG: ...  
TG: and  
TG: we  
TG: have  
TT: Dave. No.  
TG: lifdoff  
TT: I am making an incredibly stern face at you right now.  
TG: haha youre not  
TG: youre smirking  
TG: in a tomb thing for some reason  
TT: You can see me now?  
TG: yep i have the hot deets on everything you do  
TG: man its weird being on this side of a webcam  
TG: why do you even have one in there  
TG: the lighting is terrible  
TT: Oh really. I take it you prefer to be on the other end?  
TG: ha ha lalonde  
TG: you got me im secretly a famous camboy  
TG: star of a million dollar enterprise  
TG: folks forking over the big bucks to get a couple grainy frames of my hot bod  
TT: A praiseworthy effort to evade one inappropriate slip by plummeting headlong into an ocean of the stuff.  
TT: Running from the darkness in your psyche only digs your grave deeper, I'm afraid.  
TG: seriously is your room actually a tomb thing  
TG: wait i can zoom out  
TG: ...  
TG: is everything on fire over there or is that just a game thing  
TT: Not "everything" is on fire, just a portion of the house and part of the forest.  
TT: I have already informed the fire department. 

You're not worried about your house or your mother, quite frankly. Only a corner of the back wing was burning when you left, and your mother is awake and very capable of exiting the building on her own. Even if she chooses to wait, your house is mostly high-quality stone and probably adequately flame-retardant to let her take her time. Technically speaking, you wouldn't know how long it would take for your house to become uninhabitable due to fire damage. It has just never burned down before. You called the fire department on the house phone anyway. They'll be here eventually. You live a good while away from town, but that is, again, a result of your mother's excessive land ownership.

TG: uh  
TG: no im pretty sure everythings on fire  
TG: at least around your goth clubhouse  
TG: like how long has it been since you looked outside  
TT: ...  
TT: I don't know. I wasn't paying attention to the time.  
TG: ok well im apparently the time expert according to aradia  
TG: and i think its time for you to get out of there  
TT: Alright, I'll make my way back to the house.  
TT: You should install your client disc so you're ready for Jade. I'm informed that this game is intensive and that's the most important part to accomplish.  
TG: gotcha  
TG: seriously i think youre going to burn up  
TT: I'll be fine, Dave. Expect 

The burial platform shifts under the weight of your leaning form, dumping your laptop and Jaspers' coffin to the other side. You rush to check on your device, only to find it unplugged from the generator and pesterchum showing a connection problem. Your poor cat is draped unceremoniously across the keys as he might have been in life, having sent your truncated message with his lifeless nose. Insult has been added to injury; slapstick, to shame. A fine lively cat who should have been buried naturally in a flower bed, reduced to a cog in a particularly macabre Rube Goldberg machine. You suppose, given Jaspers's involvement, that was in the barest sense a message from the dead. Alas, it was not the way you would have preferred to receive such an interaction.

You captchalogue Jaspers's body. You'll give him a proper burial later.

**== >Rose: Exit the cat tomb.**

It would be remiss of you not to check how Jaspers's platform was able to shift like that. As far as you were aware, the mausoleum was built on a solid foundation, the digging of which rankled your spirit for days as your mother employed an obnoxiously noisome machine crew to do so. The effort would have been better spent interring your cat by hand. Or with a teaspoon. That would have been accomplished more quickly than constructing this affront to felinity. You suppose she had to do something with her time while Jaspers's body was at the taxidermist's.

The platform appears to be supported by something, but it has clearly sunk a few inches into the stone floor where your weight unbalanced it. Perhaps it was not meant to support anything heavier than a cat's cradle, er, coffin. Why a marble floor would have a weight limit is beyond you. Unless. Sweet horrors. Did your mother play at ancient funerary rites and bury treasure beneath your cat like an Egyptian queen? You certainly hope not. You give the platform a few strategic kicks just in case. It does not dislodge. Looking for a secret passage is a waste of time.

Well, you do need to check outside to make sure your exit is still clear. You peer out into the ruddy haze. The sky has been overcast and threatening rain, and you believe it might have something to do with the way the smoke refuses to dissipate under the cloud cover. You've seen no sunlight today. Little meteors still streak down through the clouds, lighting their way with fiery tails. The grass between the mausoleum and the house is burning, something you did not account for when sequestering yourself here. If you go back that way you're likely to burn rubber into the soles of your feet. You wish it would rain.

It is times like these that you find yourself irrationally wishing your mother's passive-aggressiveness would work in your favor for once. Couldn't she mock you with an ostentatious rescue, rather than doing so by leaving you to burn to a crisp? But of course, that is not the way your battles work.

Your move, beloved daughter.

Something mechanical scrapes behind you and you whirl, brandishing needles at the threat. It's nothing you can stab, however. It's merely a hole in the floor. A secret passage beneath your cat's tomb. Why are you always right in the worst ways? You half expected that earlier, and you honestly should have done more about it. Or at least you suppose you could have done more to investigate rather than dismissing the idea. Perhaps you will pay better attention to your intuition in the future.

You capturelog your laptop and climb down the metal rungs. If nothing else, whatever is down there won't be on fire.

**== >Rose: Enter the catacomb.**

Apparently this is what your mother does with her excessive land ownership. At the end of a lengthy tunnel, a cavernous space opens, lit in green, with a grid of what looks like generic green cubes laid out across the floor. Inspection reveals these to be either power sources or wifi routers. Perhaps both. Those nearest to the entrance are secured, both physically and cybersecurity-wise. You peer at a kiosk that looks older than you to get a clue where to go next, and follow the displayed map to a single unsecured hub.

You plug in your laptop and cringe as your screen overflows with messages from both John and Dave. John, bored from waiting for you to return, soon transitioning to a strange panicked narrative about meteors that are also impacting his neighborhood. Dave, a circuitous ramble revealing a poorly disguised amount of concern for your disappearance. You need to take care of both of these as soon as possible.

TT: Dave, I'm fine.  
TT: I've found a laboratory under the forest.  
TT: I have both air and wifi down here.  
TT: My apologies for worrying you.  
TG: there you are  
TG: i wasnt worried  
TG: might never breathe again but its chill  
TG: go ahead and explore your lab  
TG: while your house burns down  
TG: this is fine  
TG: ive just been putting a bunch of stuff in your house  
TG: game wouldnt let me put it in the tomb thing  
TG: i have no idea what any of this stuff even is  
TT: That will have to do. I'm about to help John, so I'll be away a moment. 

You switch to John's window.

TT: John, are you alright?  
EB: rose!!!!!! where did you go???  
TT: Apologies, I lost my connection.  
TT: I may have also found a secret lab.  
EB: what secret lab? what are you talking about?  
TT: It's not important right now.  
TT: Jade said once we start the game we shouldn't stop.  
TT: I also feel like it would be a bad idea to leave your house.  
EB: you THINK? there's meteors outside!  
EB: someone needs to do something!  
TT: I'm attempting to trust my intuition more. Just stay inside and I'll do my best to assist you.  
EB: my dad is out there somewhere! he took the car. i don't know where he is!  
TT: Stay inside, John.  
TT: Your dad is the most responsible adult I know of.  
TT: He will definitely come back for you.  
TT: Now let us make haste. I have your menu open here.

You start laying out the pieces provided by the game. John is visibly fretting about his father's absence, but he follows the general instructions you've found online admirably. You intend to update your walkthrough of the game as soon as this portion is over with; no one said it had to happen in lockstep with your current progress. Out of habit, you end up taking a good many screenshots with the hotkeys always at your fingertips. Most of them are probably garbage. You'll sort them out later.

The car arrives at John's home and you can practically feel his tension abate as his father enters the house. Fortunate, too, as you're unsure what you would have done had anything happened to John's father. You're quite certain you would have felt a certain degree of responsibility. You don't feel nearly as much responsibility for the... _disorganization..._ you have wreaked upon his home. It is, after all, merely a house. It can be repaired or replaced. Your mother replaces damaged things in your home frequently. It shouldn't be that hard.

You release a flashing blue orb from a machine that resembles a smokestack, and while John boggles vacantly at your shenanigans, you lift a seemingly patched-together harlequin doll into the orb. You manage to capture quite the flattering shot of that move. Not that it matters just yet. You watch as John generates a mysterious blue tree that disappears directly after dropping an apple that shines like glass into his arms. Your screen lights up with the glare from a particularly large meteor headed straight for John.

He bites into the fruit, his face lit by certain doom. You almost put your hand through your keyboard.

TT: John!

The glare fades.

John is fine.

You breathe.

Well. You suppose that that's taken care of... This game is turning out to be a bit more dramatic than you had thought it might be. Despite Jade's cryptic premonitions, you pictured this proceeding in a much more orderly manner. Considering your own house may start to fill with flames at any moment, you should probably take this hub with you and return home while it looks like John has downtime.

You know you can't take the same exit you came from. There has to be another way to get out. You proceed into the depths of the laboratory, peering through the greenish light for anything resembling a door.

Scientific equipment lines walls and lurks ominously in alcoves as you pass by. The strangest thing you find in this wasteland of green cubes is a pink-and-white bedroom. You suppose it ought to be called a bedroom despite the fact that it lacks walls to distinguish the space from the rest of the lab. It's garish, infantile, and filled with plush cats dressed like wizards. There is a bed, smaller than you would think should belong in a place like this. Then again, this entire setup is out of place here. Maybe you have a secret sister, born from lab slime, raising herself all alone, with plush kitty wizardry as her only comfort.

No, that would be dumb.

You wonder briefly what the real reason is that your mother would fill an underground laboratory with green cubes and wizard dolls. It isn't as though you would ever see them down here. Does her commitment to your contention run so deep?

Something moved, there, near your foot. It's... a kitten. It blinks at you with four lucent eyes, none of them moving in tandem. Your mother creates mutated kittens in an underground lab? Forget mad science, this is drunk science. You'll have to search online what type of ethics would apply to this type of research, but you're fairly certain this qualifies as unethical.

That kitten is just so cute.

It crawls over to a round platform and executes an adorable little forward roll. You start toward it and—OH NO FLUTHLU'S EYEBALLS.

That kitten just got vaporized. You just witnessed kitten murder. Your mother has a vaporization machine? A cat was turned into particles before your eyes.

You scramble as far back from the catomizer as you can in the half minute or so before it flashes again. You're probably causing yourself significant psychological trauma by—oh. It's back. The kitten is fine. It's very much not vaporized. _That's the door._

You order your heartbeat to behave itself (ineffectually), scoop up the kitten, and take the escape route you've been given.

**== >Dave: Put out some sick fires.**

You manage not to freak out when Rose just absconds into a hole in the ground. It's a little harder when she doesn't return or respond to your rambling for long enough that you just go move your viewport to look at her house, and you see that there's a lot more fire than she told you there was going to be. But you know what? It's chill. Probably. You handle everything else, you can handle this. You'll make do with whatever the game is going to give you to deal with this situation.

Just your luck, though, the trackpad of the laptop doesn't respond. Why couldn't Aradia have had you steal something that actually worked? It took the disk fine, and the arrow keys work, so you're sure getting an eyeful of fire from different rooms in her house, but you can't do much without a mouse. You end up having to dig into the guy's laptop bag to find a portable one. He's definitely not getting this back without a scratch, with you scraping it around on the concrete. If he's getting it back. You're probably not giving it back to him, are you? Huh. Like, if he's alive, which you pretty much hope he is, there's no way to bring his stuff back without being super awkward about it. And Bro would tan your hide and slice you into jerky if you were stupid enough to confess that you stole it. There's no way you're doing that.

Bro's coming back soon. He's coming back for you.

God, you hope you've been doing what he'd have wanted you to. Not like you rehearsed this situation. You've never really been able to picture yourself living without Bro flashstepping around in the back of your mind somewhere. Like, you know, theoretically, sure, someday you've got to be an independent dude, but also, man, even trying to think about what you would do if Bro wasn't in your life makes your brain grind its gears to a stop. Your life is basically Bro's. That's just how things work. You've got to be cool about his return though. You don't want to show anxiety or whatever about him doing his own thing, like, you've got to hit that sweet balance of ready-and-waiting-but-not-desperate.

...

You're just gonna let Rose's house burn down, huh?

God, that freakout was so uncool. You've got to pull yourself together. Your friends are kind of depending on you. You try dragging the white machines in the dropdown menu into Rose's tomb thing. They light up red, so they're either clipping into the walls (hey, it's cramped in there, you can respect that) or that's not an area you can put things in. You scroll over to a room in the house that looks like it's got enough space and start laying things down.

Rose checks back in with you on Pesterchum, going on about a lab she found under the forest. You guess that's kind of cool. She can do that while you fiddle around with things here. You should probably try to help out with the fire, right? If you don't, there might not be a house left for Rose to show up to. You scroll over to the bathroom and aim for the fancy little trash can. You can scoop water from the toilet with it and start putting out fires.

Or you could miss and rip the toilet right out of the floor, just splash all that water everywhere like a crass parody of a watering can. That works too. Bathroom's not smoldering anymore, and you've got a steady spray of hopefully not sewer water spraying from the pipes. Yeah, go you.

You use the toilet to sprinkle water over Rose's living room while you wait for her to get back. You're getting kind of antsy. Seriously, how long is she going to be down there? Scrolling around just reveals other rooms with either fire or smoke in them. There's one room that's just censored with a cloud of static for some reason, but you guess everyone probably has some kind of weird room, right? Maybe the smuppets will be censored on yours. Or would. You forgot for a second there aren't any smuppets left. How could you forget something like that? You're just used to them being there. You haven't seen Lil Cal in ages either... You're not actually as upset about that as you probably should be.

You don't see Rose's mom. Did Rose say she was somewhere around? You don't remember. She needs to hurry, the fire is spreading. You're going to need a bigger toilet.

Bathtub, the bathtub is a bigger toilet. (What? You piss in the shower. Rose probably pees in the tub. Maybe. Uh. You're going to stop thinking about this like, right now.) You grab the tub and end up busting a hole in Rose's bathroom wall trying to get the tub out to the river thing she's got going on over there. Finally some effective firefighting, a floating tub pouring water over the house like some kind of gravy commercial.

You're kind of in the zone when Rose finally responds. You drop the tub. It goes straight through the roof. Hey, these controls take a lot of concentration and you're a little on edge, sue yourself. At least you didn't drop it in the river and lose it under the house. Hopefully it didn't fall through the floor and land in the river anyway.

TT: I'm back. I found a portal to my mother's room.  
TT: Or her bar, I suppose.  
TT: Dave!  
TT: What was that?  
TG: sorry lost grip on the mouse  
TG: dropped your bathtub through your ceiling  
TT: You lost your grip.  
TG: yeah  
TG: the trackpad on this laptop doesnt work  
TG: so i plugged in the guys usb mouse  
TG: and its hard pushing it on the concrete  
TG: scraping the plastic all to hell  
TT: What guy? Concrete? What's happening over there?  
TG: nothing i borrowed a laptop from somebody  
TT: Someone who isn't your Bro?  
TT: I was under the impression you have your own computer.  
TT: And a desk.  
TT: Was that not correct?  
TG: yeah but i cant use it right now  
TT: Why is that?  
TG: reasons  
TT: ...  
TT: I will find out what you've been up to eventually.  
TT: Maybe not in the middle of a burning building, however.  
TG: yeah rose  
TG: this is not the time and all that  
TG: listen  
TG: theres got to be stuff you have to do with the game right  
TG: how about you go check on that  
TG: been holding off these sick fires for too long  
TG: i put a bunch of stuff in your living room  
TG: kinda wet and toilety but not on fire  
TG: youre welcome  
TT: Let it be known that I regret this setup already.  
TG: sure you do

You scroll around until you find Rose exiting that room that was censored earlier. It's clear now, and it's just a big private bar. Who needs a bar to be censored? But you guess Rose had called it a bedroom before, so maybe Rose wasn't allowed in there and you weren't supposed to spoil, or something like that. She finds your setup in the living room pretty easily. She dodges around the soggiest parts of the carpet even though she's wearing shoes. Kind of silly when the rest of the house is probably baking from the fire, but if that's Rose's deal then you know. Whatever.

You lift a chunk of ceiling off of the tube machine and the lid pops off. Hopefully it still works with that piece gone. A pink light escapes and Rose is pausing like she's, oh, she's got something from her sylladex. It's a cat in a suit, the one from the tomb thing she was in earlier. She hurls the cat like it's a football or something (probably football. Not soccer, that's dribbling) and the pink light sucks it up and turns into a glowing cat with a long wispy tail. You drop the chunk of ceiling in the tub, which is only halfway into the floor. It's catching, guess what, rainwater. Like the instant you stop pouring water onto the house and punch a hole in their ceiling, it starts raining. Your luck is just the best.

You grab a huge cuttlefish princess doll sitting on the couch. If the light wants bodies it can have some... oh, wait, this is probably that sprite thing Aradia was talking about. Maybe you shouldn't just chuck things in there however you want. She didn't say anything about not doing this, though, so maybe it's fine. Rose is making faces at a random corner of the ceiling and tapping a countdown on the side of the tube machine, so you go ahead and feed the doll to the sprite. Apparently Rose doesn't know which angle you're seeing her from. You'd help her out with that if it wouldn't be kind of pointless.

Hey, the cat has tentacles now. Freaky.

You help Rose dig out the purple chunk of plastic sitting in the tube and give her the pre-punched card you didn't see a space for. She fits them both into the thing that looks like some kind of drill and it grinds the purple chunk down into a squiggly shape. She grabs the thing practically before it's even finished grinding and slams it onto the other machine you dumped in there, the round one. You probably have to repeat these steps when you play with Jade, you should pay attention. Through some digital nonsense, the round machine generates a lavish wine cabinet all in one color, springing up like some kind of sci-fi hologram. Rose plucks out a shiny purple bottle and just smashes that thing on the ground. Nice. Make the thing, smash the thing. You can do that. A painful glare bursts from the impact, whiting out your whole screen. When it fades and you blink the blinding spots out of your eyes, Rose's house is not on fire and it's also sitting on an island in the middle of a CMYK-looking sea. Or just CMY you guess. No black ink here. Problems... solved?

TG: hey  
TG: are you dead  
TG: tell me you didnt get vaporized or something  
TG: hello  
TT: I am fine, Dave. No mortal injuries were sustained.  
TG: you sure about that  
TT: Yes, I think I would know if I was dead.  
TT: Breaking the generated item seems to have transported me into the game itself.  
TT: I'll have to note that in my walkthrough.  
TG: why do you write those anyway  
TG: not like anyones going to read them  
TT: I will have you know, I have a dedicated following online.  
TG: well now that makes two of us  
TT: Ah, yes, I may finally approach the cult-like fanaticism surrounding Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.  
TT: What shall we do for our rites of initiation?  
TT: I'm thinking chanting, maybe candlelight.  
TT: Selling our souls to the gods of the furthest ring may be a step too far for my readership.  
TG: you know what they say  
TG: actually jades ready talk to you later  
TT: They say that? I've been remiss in eavesdropping lately.  
TT: See you soon, Dave.

**== >Dave: Stick to the plan.**

Jade's pestering you to start, so guess what, that's what you're going to do. You eject the server disk and replace it with the client like Rose told you to do earlier. You probably should have actually followed that instruction, but it's not like something would have happened if you didn't. Case in point: everything is fine. You answer Jade as soon as you've got free hands.

GG: dave!!! it's time!!!  
TG: youre ready for the game  
TG: finally  
TG: ive been waiting all day  
TG: thats a lie i just finished with rose  
TG: she says shes actually inside the game now  
TG: whatever that means  
GG: yes, that's what it does! :D  
GG: that's how we're all going to meet each other!!!  
GG: i can't wait to see you in person dave!  
TG: did i miss some big explanation here  
TG: like does everyone else know what youre talking about  
TG: and its just me here left in the dark  
TG: or are rose and john also dancing monkeys in this confusion circus  
GG: nooooo you're not dancing monkeys!!! D:  
GG: i've explained as much as i think i can...  
GG: you'll understand it all soon!  
TG: are you going to tell me to wake up again  
TG: cause im not the one who types in my sleep  
GG: ummmm......  
GG: i actually meant that you would understand once we play!  
GG: since that's today  
GG: so you'll understand as soon as you get into the game!  
GG: but i guess i did say that to you before  
GG: hehe  
TG: ...  
TG: okay  
TG: lets just get this thing done  
TG: seems like you already know how to play  
TG: so  
TG: do your thing  
GG: i'll do my best! :D

She doesn't take long to connect to you. A cheerful green cursor wiggles around in the sky above your apartment building before twitching away rapidly. Jade probably scrolled into your house somewhere. Not a whole lot of use that's going to do you since there's nothing in there and you're planning to stay on the roof. Maybe you should tell Jade about that so she can put things up here instead of down there. And she never got back to you about your fursona. You'd like to think you wouldn't prank yourself, but whatever that info is going to be used for, if it's from your future self, you'll have to do that when you get to be him, too, so... you guess future Dave didn't have a choice about whether to tell you to do that either. Huh.

TG: hey jade  
TG: did you find out why future me wanted you to know about my killer fursona  
TG: like obviously its rad and youd want me to tell you anyway  
TG: but like  
TG: did you find out the actual reason  
TG: cause i feel like im being punked  
GG: no i didn't!  
GG: if future you said it was important, then i'm sure i'll find out!  
GG: i would love to hear more about your fursona sometime soon! :D  
GG: but dave?  
GG: why is your house empty?  
TG: can that be one of the things we dont talk about right now  
GG: ummm.....  
GG: okay!  
GG: i guess we can do that  
GG: but i think there might be something wrong with my viewport!  
TG: what do you mean  
GG: it looks like there's something blurry moving around really fast in your living room...  
GG: kind of like becquerel does!  
GG: but you don't have a dog like that i think?  
TG: thats gotta be bro  
TG: hes already here 

You get a quick series of pesters from Aradia.

AA: dave its time n0w  
AA: delete the l0gs and put y0ur ph0ne back in y0ur m0dus  
AA: y0u can f0ll0w the instructi0ns with0ut me f0r n0w  
AA: i will tell y0ur friend what she needs t0 kn0w  
TG: hold on you didnt say jade was part of these instructions  
AA: d0 y0u trust me 0r n0t 

Well, when it comes down to it... Aradia hasn't steered you wrong so far, and she's been right about everything you've asked her. And you're running out of time. You can feel it. Tick tock.

Tick.

Tock.

TG: yeah ok  
TG: lets do this

You delete each of your pesterlogs since before you woke up in the landfill. That's a couple with John, the ones with Jade about the game, Rose's questions about Bro... and all of the ones with Aradia. Huh.

You drop the phone into your sylladex. Time to chill. It's the only thing in your modus right now; you had the disks out to install and the computer is still sitting on the hot concrete. The client screen is just sitting there, a boring black square with text assuring you that you're connected to the game. You wonder what Jade is up to. If Aradia's telling her what she needs to do, she's probably going to tell her to put the things on the roof like you need her to. Unless she's got something else up her sleeve and you're not in on it. A clunking noise below you tells you it's probably something more like that. You hope whatever they're up to is good. Bro's down there somewhere. You hope Jade doesn't rip out your toilet in front of him. That would suck both now and afterwards.

You wonder what Bro is doing. If he'll come up to the roof. He might, and then you'll have to react to whatever he decides to do. You're probably out of practice, it's been a while since your last strife. You don't have a sword. You might need one. If you do, you guess Bro might toss one at you. It's not so much of a strife if you haven't got a weapon, right? Then it's just agility training. Your stamina might not be good enough; it wasn't last time, and look where that got you.

You shift up into a ready position. You can't relax. Bro's here. He's just down the stairs and you're on the roof and you need to be there, you need to see him and know things are going back to normal, you need to do something right now.

Tick tock.

You need...

Tick. Tock.

You need to stay on the roof and follow the instructions from your future self. Future you makes it past this situation somehow. Present you is not going to crack. You've got this. Your friends are counting on you. You're used to stretching yourself to meet expectations. You can do it if it means enough to you.

Jade's cursor flickers through the air off the side of the apartment. You have to stay up here instead of confronting Bro, but maybe you can also satisfy your curiosity about what Aradia and Jade are up to. At least as much as you can without a view directly into your apartment. You move to the edge of the roof above your window and keep an eye out for moving things.

Your window is open. You wouldn't be able to tell from this angle, but the crows that love to bother you seem to be enjoying free passage into the room and aren't cracking their feathery skulls on the windowpane. Did Bro open it to let out the heat, or did Jade do something to be able to move things around easier in there? You're pretty sure your apartment is still boiling from the heat wave. It's not like the sun's been giving you any less of an evil eye today than it was yesterday. It was probably Bro, then. He taught you ways to manage heat exhaustion, training you to endure strifes under the sun's glare for hours. Top quality dude, right there. You'd probably whine about the heat like those chicks downstairs if you hadn't been through way worse before. Right now? You're barely even feeling it.

Okay, hold on. There are way too many crows around today. Can you get rid of some of these? Like, scare them off? It's not like they're trying to attack or anything, but they're making too much noise, and a couple of them are staring at you with those gimlety eyes people always say they have. Not like you know what a gimlet is. You'll have to look that one up later. The bird situation doesn't sound much better downstairs. Your senses are tuned up sharp to anything Bro does, and you're picking up hissed curses that sink a hard-knucked grip into your shoulders and push you down into a ready stance. He's not losing his cool—Bro doesn't do that—but he sounds stone-cold furious. Common sense says it's got to be at those birds, but your instincts claw at you to go over everything you did since he got here. You don't want to earn worse than what you got in your last strife. Nothing on Bro, you lost fair and square. It's on you that you're not at the level you should be. You're just tense hearing the crows antagonize him like that. You wish they'd be quiet.

You really need a sword right now. Even half a sword. Your empty hands feel wrong.

You hunker down by the ledge and just keep your eyes trained on the birds fluttering around the windowsill below. You're cool. You're chill. You've never been cooler. Bro is going to finish up whatever he's got going on and then he'll come up to the roof and deal with you. Something like that. You're looking forward to it. Bro is the most heroic dude you've ever known. Your reunion is going to be sick. You're going to be sick. The sickest. You've got coolness in the bag right here. Like you went all the way to the bank and had a coolness stickup, no one there's got any left 'cause they gave you all their cool at swordpoint wondering who this outrageous dude could possibly be. You're all that, and yet Bro is still even cooler than you will ever be.

Goddamn he sounds pissed.

It's blink and you miss it, but you don't blink, and you don't miss it. Bro flashes to the window and just brutally skewers the worst nuisance. You don't see him, not directly, but you see its blood scatter into droplets the way it always does when driven by flashstep-speed. You see the sword shoved all the way through its body. It falls to the roof far below it, but you can tell before it lands. It's already dead.

Bro just did that. He just killed something in front of you. It was making him angry and he just stabbed right through it. That's... that's fine. You respect Bro. He's a hero. He's awesome. He's training you. It's just a bird. You know it's just a bird. Bro's still your hero. Stop shaking. You're overreacting. Stop freaking out. _Stop._

The green cursor reappears and sweeps down toward the dead bird. Oh no, Jade. Jade just saw the bird die. She might have seen Bro kill it. You don't want to explain it to her. You don't know how to explain it. This is stupid. You're stupid.

Jade grabs the bird and lifts it back up close to you. You can see its feathers all crushed up from the fall. Parts of it look wet. It would look like roadkill if it weren't for the sword sticking through it. You're okay with roadkill. Dead things are sweet. You're okay with this.

She carries it back in through the window and an orange light flares from inside. The birds left near the window scatter into the heat. The ones up here on the roof are still a noisy, feathery mess. It makes sense, you guess, since they can't see or hear what you're looking at down there. There's some commotion downstairs. Suddenly something bright and fast flies up through the window and you get back, get away from it. It's the bird. Jade resurrected it with the kernelsprite. It's carrying a red egg thing with it, probably trying to get it to a high place. There's nothing to nest in up here though. It doesn't seem to care and carries the egg up to the top of the signal tower to brood over anyway. It reminds you of those dragon tattoos where the dragon is playing with a round pearl, rolling it over in its claws, not letting it fall. Maybe you should go after it. Like maybe you should try to get the egg. If it's like the bottle that Rose used, it's pretty important. And you're still playing the game with Jade, kind of, even if she's up to things downstairs without you. You're the client, so that's your thing, right?

Bro bursts up the stairs. You freeze.

He goes after the bird immediately. It recoils up into the air, taking the egg with it. It's determined to keep that egg. This battle probably won't last very long. You stay still, guarded, chill. Like if you don't move he won't confront you. Even if he ignores you, you know he'll still see you there. Bro notices everything. He does a sick kickflip off the tower, aiming for the bird. It dodges and shrieks, tail flowing around it like those ribbon things people use in the Olympics. Probably. You're not sure if that's an actual sport or whether that's some kind of halftime show thing. It's great to watch Bro's rad moves, the air that guy gets is insane. Why wouldn't anyone want to be like him? The sprite isn't letting him anywhere near it, though.

You wonder whether it knows Bro killed it.

The sky gets kind of... darker and brighter. You look, because what else would you do, even if it takes your eyes away from Bro's critical stunts. A meteor the size of—dangit you don't remember enough geography for this—a meteor that's probably bigger than the span of your bedroom is hurtling toward you, blocking the sun, but lighting the sky with its own fire.

Bro abandons the birdsprite to tackle the meteor with a flying leap. The massive rock splinters all the way down the center and falls away, letting the sunlight burst through. It lights Bro up in silhouette like a movie still. Times like these, watching him just floods you with awe. He's a hero. He basically saved your life just now, like, if the meteor squashed your apartment, you would probably have died. That's a heroic thing. You've got nothing to complain about when your guardian can be this awesome.

You don't see where he lands, but you know Bro. He can do anything. The sprite settles down with him nowhere in sight, coiling its tail and tucking its head into its feathers. It rolls the egg idly along in its claws, keeping it safe while it hovers in midair. Maybe... maybe it's scared. Maybe if you're quiet and gentle, you can sneak up next to it, get the egg. Bro would probably approve if you used strategy. You hope so.

You approach cautiously. The bird ruffles up its feathers when you get near, but it doesn't attack. It might if you try to break the egg. It probably has instincts telling it that egg belongs to it, even though it was just some holographic plastic thing the game cooked up. But you have to do something, you can't just wait around with meteors falling from the sky. How can you get the egg open while the birdsprite still has a hold on it?

You watch, and you wait. Looking closer, each time the sprite turns the egg over you can see a jagged line of light that matches the sprite, like there's already a crack in the egg. Maybe it will break on its own. You reach out anyway. You can handle a scratch, that's fine.

You reach real gradually, soft and slow, past the birdsprite's defenses. It doesn't hurt you. It's like it doesn't really mind, which is weird, because it was matching Bro move for move earlier. You barely manage to brush the egg when the crack splits it all the way open and the universe dissolves into light.

**== >Dave: Hit the drop.**

You hear the new world before you see it. Machinery, massive metalworks with a thrumming rhythm. It pulses through everything that exists, a planetary bass boost that dropped the instant you arrived. Like you'd been listening to the build up your entire life, just ramping up that tension, winding the spring tighter and tighter, and you've just now reached the climax.

You open your eyes to a land of heat and clockwork.

The surface of the world is a sea of magma, like this planet has nothing to it but molten core. For all you know, it might be liquid all the way through. Skeletal buildings stand upright in the magma the way they wouldn't on the world you know. Metal struts refuse to melt, supporting enormous gears that turn against one another and pump even more lava out into the sea. Something pings in your brain each time those gears clash together, metal on metal. Familiar, but not pleasant. Right but not good.

You're still standing on your own roof, but Houston is gone. If you hadn't seen the way Rose's house was transported to a hypersaturated new plane of existence while leaving the rest of the world unbothered, you'd think the city had melted into the lavascape that stretches to the horizon in every direction. The birdsprite is stretching its wings and its talons in the superheated air like it's basking or something. Its tail stirs the air in a fascinating way. Not like it's dangling, or like the tail is keeping it in the air somehow, but like every twitch in its torso carries all the way down along the tail, amplifying like a sound wave. It doesn't seem to mind that the egg is gone. Maybe it was only guarding it until the time was right.

It smells like strife. Like that combination of hot metal that's partly sun-on-swords and partly your own blood. There's no skin on the surface of the sea like you've seen in videos of lava flows, that darker patching that's supposed to happen when molten rock touches air. The stuff pouring from the gears looks like industrial metal, like a blast furnace. This entire planet is liquid iron and steel. Blood and swords.

You can't help but be transfixed. Your entire life has been a one-bedroom apartment, a rooftop, and a stairwell. This is practically too much to handle. Gears tick by on the underside of a massive platform moving on its own through the heat-warped air, distant and huge, a whale glimpsed through the sea. The beat of the planet is only disrupted by a sound from the apartment.

Metal.

Stairs.

Bro slams up the stairs at flash speed and halts there at the top, the beginning and end of all your strifes. He's got Cal with him. He's back for you. You're not ready and you'll never be ready but that has never stopped you from trying and it never will.

He launches himself not at you but at the sprite, Cal in hand. He's going to do what you did with Rose's tentacle doll. Cal is going to move and Cal is going to fly and your limbs are ice even in this heat because you know what you have to do.

You remember the instructions Aradia relayed to you.

Don't let Cal touch the sprite. Paradox. Doomed timeline. Everyone dies.

The sprite is doing its best to avoid Bro, but nothing and no one can outrun him forever. The only way it's going to have a chance at escaping is if you do something to help. It can fly, it will be alright if it just gets away from this building and out over the molten sea where no one will be able to reach it.

You can't believe you're volunteering for a beatdown like this.

You take off. Flashstep, sharp turn, flashstep again. You've never been fast enough to catch Bro and you're not going to do it now. You're running a different kind of interference.

You need to get to the sprite first.

You're not going to let Cal touch the sprite even if you have to race against Bro to do it. You promised Aradia and you can't risk John and Jade and Rose if she's right about what will happen. Whatever reason Bro has for wanting Cal to be part of the sprite, you're just gonna have to accept the consequences and take it like a man. Thinking about it makes your guts crinkle up inside you and try to hide themselves in your lungs. That's probably the reason you're hyperventilating and feel like throwing up.

You hurl yourself at the frantic sprite. You can protect it with your body. Cal's just going to have to deal. God, Bro's going to kill you for this. Don't think about that, just don't think at all. Protect the sprite.

You curl into yourself and attempt to shoulder slam the sprite out of the way.

Time  
    stops  
          and  
              everything  
                    is  
_fire._

You feel.

You _feel—_

You open your eyes.

Through some kind of golden haze, you see Bro's afterimage still blurring toward you. Huh.

His shoulders twitch backward as he slows out of flashstep. Someone without such mastery of their reflexes might as well have skidded to a halt while flailing their arms. That doesn't look like anger. You were expecting fury after that stunt. Not whatever this is. You've never seen Bro surprised in your life and there's no way you're seeing it now.

Why is he acting like this? You know he was supposed to meet you here. You followed your instructions. Things make sense when Bro is with you. You do what Bro wants you to and good things happen. Even when you've done something wrong, you understand the Strider-style beatdown you get. This is just... no response. You feel a weird mixture of cheated and relieved for a long-hanging moment, until you focus on what you _feel—_

A huge wingspan arches _(will arch, has always arched)_ out from your shoulders, stretching, adjusting, feathers combing the currents all around you. Where your mind expects legs to be straining from the jump, your torso slicks off into a long wisp lashing the air below you. Like the sprite. There's a sword where a sword shouldn't go, and it doesn't hurt but it looks like it should. You touch it and your mind says _no, swords should stay on the outside_ and _this is who I am,_ both at once. Your brain is running faster, suddenly aware of an entire plane of existence you've never tapped into before, thrumming with energy and bytes of information. Wild, a bird let loose into the sky for the first time. You can feel Aradia messaging you in the back of your mind. Did you just.... _absorb_ that phone in your sylladex?

AA: dave are y0u 0k  
TG: aradia whats going on  
TG: i thought you said bro was waiting for me  
TG: why does he look like im not supposed to be here  
TG: other than the wings and the tail and i think im glowing  
TG: whats happening to me help 

She wasn't the one to suggest Bro was waiting for you, now that you remember. She said you would see him again when you played the game, and you assumed that meant Bro knew that as well. Either way, he wouldn't have known you’d morph into an… angel? dragon? The bird with the snake tail, is that one called the cockatrice? …that’s kind of a gay name for a creature that you are maybe in the middle of being right now.

AA: y0u became a game sprite like i did  
AA: self pr0t0typing

He looks at you like you're some kind of chestburster alien, except those gory things never really bothered him the way you're seeing now. The tiny shifts in his expression set off all your internal alarms like spikes of electricity down your spine. Do you even have a spine right now?

"Lil Bro."

His voice is flat as ever. Ha, good thing for you, you'd probably have some kind of heart attack if it wasn't.

"What are you doing here."

You feel your head quirking to the side the way a dog or a bird does when it's confused. Goddamn, did whatever this is wreck your poker face? That's one surefire way to make your life a lot harder all at once. Bird genes or something are making your neck weirdly flexible, like one of Bro's anime characters. You're looking at him practically sideways and it's weird and kind of dizzying.

Your Bro looks even more disgusted, if that's the right microexpression to pin to the look he's giving you.

"I know what I did, _Dave."_

Oh man. First name coming out. You were wrong, you were wrong, he's got to be furious, he always calls you Bro, same as you do to him, or Lil Bro if he's feeling that one. He doesn't call you Dave.

Wait. Hold on. Don't focus on your name. What's he saying? Your brain is nudging you with another message. Yeah, you definitely did something to that phone. That's either cool or gross, and you don't have the focus right now to decide.

GG: dave?  
GG: i think my viewport is working now!  
GG: i see two people on the screen  
GG: you and your bro?  
GG: you look  
GG: um  
GG: different!  
TG: cant do this right now jade 

She starts pestering up a storm but you ignore her. You've got stuff to deal with right here.

"I checked. No mistake. Dumped the evidence and got the hell out of dodge."

What.

"If you're here to get some kind of revenge, tough. I'm busy."

What's he—

Wait.

No. No no _nonono he would never—_

You do what Bro wants and things come out okay. You're always okay.

You _believed_ . You _worshipped his shadow_.

TG: i cant  
TG: my bro  
AA: are y0u 0k  
AA: is s0mething wr0ng  
TG: he really  
TG: in the trash aradia  
TG: like a piece of garbage 

You can't breathe. No, you don't _need_ to breathe and the thought is killing you except it _can't_ , because—

AA: dave  
AA: did y0u n0t kn0w y0u were dead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from [Catastrophic](https://youtu.be/rzZywKrvOQ8) by Armors. I strongly recommend listening to the chapter songs if you haven't already.  
> Thanks to [theknightofdoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theknightofdoom) for beta reading. :)


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